I had a friend who was having problems with dating. Specifically his online dating wasn’t going well, and while he was a super outgoing person, he wasn’t the kind of guy to pickup a woman at a bar. Anyways, I told him to first think of his target demographic. What do they look like? What are their hobbies? What’s traits, characteristics, and thoughts do they have that you look for?

Once you know who you’re after, then write for them. Treat the space on your profile as a sort of open-ended love letter for a fill-in-the-blank style adventure. Maybe even make it an actual fill-in-the-blank as a sort of cool way for them to have interaction with the profile.

Another point is Algorithms, algorithms, algorithms! People forget that algorithms run our lives from HR filtering applications, to online dating. Have engagement on the site. Specifically by updating your profile regularly. That keeps the pictures fresh, the content current, and feeds the algorithm to boost you to the top.

Maintaining a relationship is always the fun and easier part, IMO. I’ve always told friends and family that relationships aren’t hard work with the correct partner. If someone ghosts you, it means they aren’t right for you, or it isn’t the time for them. As well, focus on keeping engagement with that person active. Just like algorithms on websites people love someone who is constantly updating, and staying current. It doesn’t have to be exhausting, but it does require some effort on your part.

Lastly what helped my friend the most was when I told him to scale back the nerd. To include it as part of your hobbies and a single picture, but having multiple pictures of you doing the same thing is repetitive, unhelpful, and only tells me one thing about you. Variety is the name of the game.