BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called “xenix”, which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people’s computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people’s stereos to steal their music, using the ‘mp3’ program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as ‘telnet’, which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
In case you want to fact check this post, I highly recommend Glyn Moody’s Rebel Code. It’s a nice, fast read and covers all sorts of cool shit. I’d love to see a sequel covering newer events.
(Edit: OP is facetious; mine is only facetious in that it references OP)