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The economy lost $400 million in labor due to hell hole gawkers.
You’ll never be able to afford a house if your eyes are being gouged out by a demon.
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Funny story. 50 years ago, to this very day, a revolution occurred in which Portugal took down its dictatorship.
The following day some public administrator/manager sent a letter complaining about people missing work!
Translation after the letter
Your Excellency Director General
I inform Your Excellency that yesterday, April 25, 1974, several employees were absent from work, claiming that a revolution had occurred in the country.
I clarify that this revolution was not authorized by superiors, and no justification was seen for the absences, especially as the service was considerably delayed.
As the current legislation does not provide for absences due to the occurrence of revolutions, I submit the matter to your high discretion, in the certainty that it will deserve due attention.
That’s pretty much textbook fascism. The worker is there for the benefit of the corporation.
Eh, but this is kinda true for all trade/niche publications?
IT publications would have, “Portal to hell messing with your wifi? Try this.”
Cooking blogs — “Portal to hell, hello to flavor!”
Meanwhile, a patch shows up on the Linux kernel mailing list — “fix rng behavior: portal to hell causes /dev/random to be less secure with increased frequency of 0x06 0x06 0x06.”
We’ve had a sudden flood of applicants who perfectly fit our company culture. You’re all fired, please form an orderly queue by the pit of fire.
Boss makes a (million) dollar, I make a
dimetenth of a penny, that’s why I let crows eat my entrails on company time. :-PBoss makes a million, I make a cent, but I have to keep working, until Luciferv is sent.
What’s this “until” crap? Now back to work you lazy fuck! :-P
“nobody wants to work anymore!”
“I don’t care if you’re being chased by a hellhound, your productivity is down 10% this month.”
They would also blame it on millennials
“Millennials killed the portal to hell.”
“It was an epic battle, worthy of poem and song, and must be documented to teach future generations the dark truth of our world, but productivity really dipped due to the loss of life so we should surrender to Lucifer next time”
be boomer
spend 20 years nursing, educating, and raising your child
turns out they’re just as much a fuckup as you are, but thanks to technological and social progress, inflation, and various other economic and political factors, living in a vastly more complex world than you were at the same age, so they’re struggling
blame the child
Our country is set to lose trillions in revenue due to the demon infestation, but experts agree that 90% of that is due to workers erroneously caring about themselves instead of their employer
“6 ways the world ending due to a portal to hell can improve our GDP! Labor markets stand to benefit from increased job placement in hell!”
Eventually you realize that Doom’s UAC is actually pretty normal for most companies.
“Demon Rampage Costs Economy $8 Trillion in Lost Productivity”
The crow eating my entrails IS work; Let me tell you your fortune 🔮
Have you considered another line of work? Say… following a little girl and a dog down an oddly-constructed and colored road?
High level executives face job loss as the boards of an overwhelming majority of companies vote to replace them with demons.
This makes me think someone, somewhere is being punished by having their liver eaten by a bird every day for walking out of work with a company pen accidentally.
How can I create Value™ for the Shareholders® if I’m not working since I’m being eaten alive?
Surely someone has to think of creating unlimited growth for the Shareholders®.
