• xenoclast@lemmy.world
    22·
    10 hours ago

    When they’re both Christians, Jesus just picks his favorite. If you lose you know that you’re not jesus’s favorite. Sorry that’s just the way it is. Loser.

    • stupidcasey@lemmy.world
      16·
      12 hours ago

      IDK, the christians build gods like a grade schooler:

      My god built the ocean.

      Oh yeah well mine built the earth, and the ocean is on the earth.

      Hey you can’t do that, besides I have a second god and he made the sun.

      I don’t need two gods mine is as powerful as all yours put together and he made the heavens and it has the sun in it.

      THAT’S CHEATING! And I have another god, he made the stars!

      Oh yeah well mine made everything including all the gods and he can count to infinity!

      Oh yeah even the evil gods?

      ……yeah but thats not his fault.

      Is too!

      Is not!

      Is too!

      Is not!

      Is too!, Is too!, Is too!

      Is not time infinitely!

    • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world
      7·
      11 hours ago

      For his human form, yes, but Holy Trinity-wise, I’m not so sure. Beyond 1v1, archangels tip any scales in JC’s favor.

      • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        5 hours ago

        Are you also including the entire Hindu pantheon? Because I don’t think the trinity has a chance in hell, archangels notwithstanding.

        • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world
          11·
          4 hours ago

          The Holy Trinity includes God who is supposedly all powerful. I think He can hold His own 1v1. I’m not saying He would thrash every Hindu god, but it’s not a trouncing of God situation, either. Regardless, when you start adding in the entire kingdom of Heaven, even against the entire pantheon of Hindu gods, I think Heaven wins out.

    • jaybone@lemmy.world
      1·
      8 hours ago

      What about that one who sleeps for like 32 million years? Seems like he would be pretty easy to off.

  • Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
    6·
    10 hours ago

    Interesting tidbit, the National spelling bee was created by Doug Cornette. The Father of loud mouth, racket waving, heel wrestling manager Jim Cornette

    Which explains why he was such a word Smith and could talk a mile a minute while insulting the crowd

    • Buffalox@lemmy.world
      30·
      18 hours ago

      Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
      https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm

      Judges 1:19

      The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.

      So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.

      • tourist@lemmy.world
        8·
        16 hours ago

        I never actually read much of the thing

        I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don’t care that it’s not native to the region or whatever.

        Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.

        • Fermion@feddit.nl
          4·
          15 hours ago

          I can’t claim to have much experience in the matter, but I don’t think people who just chill generally have chariots fitted with iron. Like if your neighbor happened to have a tank and a bunker, would you say they’re just chilling?

          • jaybone@lemmy.world
            1·
            8 hours ago

            Plus they had already taken the hill country from presumable whoever was there. So if I’m in the plains country, I’m not gonna be super chill with these land takers all up in my shit.

          • tourist@lemmy.world
            1·
            10 hours ago

            Yeah once Phil takes his resperidone and valium combo he’s chill as fuck

            Wish his wife didn’t poach more than half the valium though. Fucking rude as hell. I wanted some.

    • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
      10·
      16 hours ago

      If we consider the Sistine Chapel’s depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.

      The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.

      Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.

      • pinkystew@reddthat.comEnglish
        52·
        16 hours ago

        Also Jesus was a bottom

        Do you think he was topping 12 dudes a night? They started a religion after him because he was nice not because he was a multiple cummer

        So it totally makes sense for him to be flying cakes in a fight with a Hindu god

        • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.worldEnglish
          1·
          5 hours ago

          Consider that the first time he broke out the superpowers was when a wedding didn’t have booze. So he turned WATER INTO WINE. Just don’t rule out him topping 12 dudes a night is all I’m saying. He brought the party.

        • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
          10·
          16 hours ago

          I’m not sure what your religion is but I regret to inform you that you’re not going to the good place.

  • taiyang@lemmy.world
    11·
    14 hours ago

    This just made me think about Shin Megami Tensei. I think Messiah (the closest equivalent to Jesus) would probably win 1 on 1, but the whole Hindu pantheon would probably wear him down eventuality.

    Edit for non-smt fans: SMT is Pokemon for religious and folk mythology. Lol

  • The Pantser@lemmy.world
    35·
    18 hours ago

    Also relevant, two people of the same religion praying for the same thing. The god fights themselves. Or flips a coin, free will remember.