• Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.worldEnglish
    43·
    9 days ago

    We says to Meemaw when she awakens from the crypt down yonder that she can’t be out there tryna slay some ole dragon. We says, Meemaw, iff’n ya don’t starts to watch fer yer health, we’ll have ta get one o’ them immovable rod thingers and keep ye sat in her chair.

    • okwhateverdude@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      7 days ago

      …

      Riding through the village, Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe. 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(Say there's no Elminster)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 

She'd been drinkin' too much ale,
And we'd begged her not to roam.
But she'd left her sword behind,
So she stumbled out into the snow. 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(Say there's no Elminster)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 


Now we're all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' the dice roll,
Drinkin' ale and singin' with the halfling fell. 

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the villagers are in shock.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we bury her treasure or give it to the clerk? 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(Midnight before Christmas)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(Say there's no Elminster)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 

Now the feast is on the table
And the meat pies made of turkey.
And a red and golden candle
That would have just matched the hair in grandma's curly wig. 

I've warned all my friends and comrades.
"Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a dragon that breathes fire and smokes with elves." 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(Minding her own business)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(What do you mean there's no Elminster?)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 

Oh, As for me and Grandpa, we believe!
  • BenLeMan@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    8 days ago

    Let the darn woman rest in peace already! Y’all just hopin’ to keep mooching off her pension.