I hereby invoke my “English is my 4th language” excuse…

(okay tbh it’s not really a good excuse, since I came to the US when I was very young…

But in my defence I hated Reading/Writing classes tho… had self-confidence issues and took years till I felt like I “know” the language… math was always my favorite…)

Ahhhhh no I dont wanna touch grass.

The grass is lava.

(I’ve been procrastinating my writing project for like… months… probably a year… lol)

(Did you know, the outside world has monsters that will abduct people and eat them?

USA btw… ICE… 👀)

Invite them to a Hunting Trip… Dick Cheney style

No because killing a cow isn’t murder either

Having to fix appliances implies you have home ownership. So you got that covered at least.

I guess I’m buying a English-Chinese dictionary then writing her a note to be handed in person… and communicate via writing only… and hide away all the smartphones (so the cameras can’t see it).

Then ignite it in fire after its done being read…

Take that, israeli spyware 😏

But seriously tho, its more of an intrusive thought, surely mom didn’t do anything wrong. I mean I have like 1000s of scenarios of “shit hits the fan” stuff, its just “OCD” probably.

On a DVD Disc, Yes.

I guess they put a program on a disc that the dvd player was able to read off of it. Idk how that shit works, don’t have it anymore. Like its not a normal dvd player… it has a ports for 2 controllers… and it being a portable dvd means it had an internal battery and a screen.

I think it had a lot of Nintendo games on the discs.

I remember there was a Kirby… I remember we brought it with us to the US, and I remember playing a Kirby game for a while but like you know… electronics eventually wear out… I think it stopped working within 4 years…

My most memorable game is probably Tank 1990

Like I remember we had 2 discs, one was a normal size dvd, the other one was a smaller dvd… like it’s half the normal diameter… idk why those “tiny dvds discs” even exist lol…

I think they had like over 100 games probably

I did a quick search and the DVD thing looked like this:

Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3JzkQzl6qc (you can skip forward to see it in action)

The one we had, you can rotate the screen left and right like this:

(Besides the “DVD Player” thing, I also remember game cartridges… I remember my brother blowing into the connectors to clear the dust… but I can’t remember what the machine looked like… maybe the dvd thing has a slot for cartridges? or maybe rhat was a separate thing… idk cant remember)

This was in 2002-2010 btw

My dad is a green card holder and PRC Citizen…

He has zero arrests, zero criminal records (beside some traffic/parking tickets)

I have a bad feeling… cuz he doesn’t really speak English… 👀

My mom still calls me a lazy piece of shit because I don’t really wanna go outside…

Mom be like: “You’re a citizen, why are you so worried? Do you think your dad should stay home all day and not go to work?”

So… yeah…

According to my mom: My fears are invalid and depression is non-existent

She thinks I’m just looking for “excuses” to “be lazy”

Why does the south get to vote? Revoke their statehood ffs, keep them as a permanent territory.

I guess Funeral Processions are a good thing?

Wtf is a Funeral Concession? Only transporting half of a body?

somebody knew how to solve that thing

I didn’t get to meet many people because my parents think the there are kidnappers everywhere so I just got stuck at home beside school time…

I think during breaks, they sometimes take us back to one of the parent’s village, and there I remember we were allowed to run around since I assume everyone in the village knew each other and I remember hopping on to other people’s roofs with my older brother… I took a peek down the sky-window thing and saw spiderwebs in one of the houses… could be abandoned… idk…

23:34 and I’m bored and have no one to talk to…

And I’m procrastinating on my writing project AGAIN

But eh… I’ll work on it tomorrow lol

Anxious about the future…

Politically… (country could fall apart)

Depression-wise…

Career-wise…

Family-wise… worried that my relationship with parents would shatter… and also worried about what my own future plans for family is… as in a family that I start, not the family of origin. Idk if I’d ever find someone… especially with my depression right now I’m probably not gonna be ready for a long time… I might eventually miss my window…

My pre-internet days:

-Dialing random numbers that I think had some weird mini-games or something… on the landline that cost money

-downloading games on my dad’s motorola feature cell phone that gets charged to the phone bill

(my older brother dared me to do it so he got most of the blame for it xD)

-accidentally triggered the SIM PIN Lockout and my dad had to go to the phone store to get a new sim

-Also my older brother pouring a whole ass bottle of white-out and igniting it on fire… WHILE WE ARE LOCKED INSIDE THE APARTMENT WITH NO ADULTS HOME (luckily the fire just fizzled out after the fuel (the white-out) burned out)

Okay, but there are also normal stuff like:

-Board games? Most kids in China of my generation didn’t have siblings so I guess some would call that “lucky” to have a playmate (but he was also abusive to me 😕)

-Bootleg Video Games on a CD/DVD disc inserted into a portable DVD player (sometimes hooked up to the tv) and you plug in controllers and you can play games on it… you can plug in two controllers and play 2player games… I think I played that with my older brother sometimes… he always made me 2nd player with the controller that had the mushy buttons 😕 (it’s what I get for being the 2nd born i guess)

-A windows computer with a bunch of music files but zero internet…

-I remember Yu-Gi-Oh Cards…

-Rubic’s cube I think? But there was no internet to look up how to solve it so it’s never solved (until way later into my teens when I got internet) so I just took it apart and reassemble it…

-Cartoon stuff… that I never really paid attention to probably because it’s boring af so I don’t have much memories of it except like a few faint images that I’m not sure of.

-Mostly just locked in the apartment when parent’s aren’t available

Feel free to ask questions… I wanna see if I can jog some memories…

Edit: Also: While I don’t have memories of this because I was young and didn’t care about adult stuff like current events… I can imagine the news being all one-sided and only supporting the state narrative… so at least you don’t need to use your brain to think and no divisiveness… National Unity lol… very Harmonious indeed… /s

Idk about that but my mom constantly talks about her going through two C-Sections (for my older brother, then me)… And like she literally showed me where they cut her open… as if it’s a battle scar…

like wtf mom… you told this story like 50 times… I just wanna chill and relax in my room okay… pls stop 😭

The south doesn’t deserve to vote.

Suspend their statehood and keep them as permanent territories with zero voting representatives.

You lease out one of them…

I mean you’ll get lynched by Lemmy for doing this, but that’s how you realistically gonna make money from it.

I thought you were a nurse, you tell me

(Also wtf is that wording: “make a person R-word in animals”

🤔)

Philly houses are like $100K back in the early 2010s

taxes were around $2000 ish per year…

So we moved from NYC and used to be renters… but now we own the house… (well I don’t have a share, its technically my parents for the time being)

So you’d think: well great! no rent anymore! perfect? Right? RIGHT?

fast forward…

Kids were more racist in school and I got bullied a lot. (I’m ethnic Chinese)

😭

I hate Philly, I rather be in NYC. 🫠

So yes, home ownership and all… but at what cost?

Ghetto ass place :/

Caused me so much anxiety and self esteem issues and probably one of the major factors into my depression.

/endrant

YSK: If you are an American Citizen or US Tax Resident, your first 200 pounds of fat is legally exempt and therefore does not count for BMI Purposes. Nutritionists hate this one simple trick!

Follow me for more advice.

My parents are from China… 🙃

They get especially mad when I say “negative” things the closer it gets to lunar new year (two weeks ago?)

Aparantly they get so worried about my therapy/psychaitry appointment which was also about 2 weeks ago because its bad luck or some shit…

Sure mom, news years is exactly what I need to “cleanse my spirit of evil” because obviously depression does not exist its its evil spirits latching on to me and I need some necklace with jade in it to “repel evil spirits”

🤦‍♂️

Lunar Hologram Theory: The most popular term. It suggests the Moon is a projection onto the “firmament” or a cloaking device used by advanced civilizations or governments.

So… The Orville and the episode where they planted a fake star to trick a planet that believed in astrology signs to release their crewmate… lmfao

The Hollow Moon / Spaceship Moon: While these versions allow for a physical object, they argue the Moon is an artificial structure (essentially a giant satellite or base) rather than a natural celestial body.

Literally the Moonfall movie 🤣