• Senal
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    3 months ago

    It doesn’t escape me, but what part of what I’ve said has invited confrontation or dismissal? I’m asking honestly.

    In this case i can’t see any big red flags.

    The tone is a possibility, as i said, being correct isn’t an absolute defence against being considered an arsehole.

    To be clear, I’m not implying you were incorrect, or the tone was incorrect, just that that kind of certainty (evidence based or not) gets some people’s backs up.

    It’s grating that it keeps happening and I keep telling people to stop.

    I don’t think it’s what you actually meant but this could be interpreted as “Somebody didn’t accept my answer and argued, so i told them to stop, they didn’t even though i was clearly correct, this is grating”

    Hyperbole aside, it’s frequent enough that I can see a pattern of people starting petty arguments trying to win and throwing low punches instead of clarifying what is being said and why.

    Firstly, welcome to public internet forums in general, this is common behaviour.

    That aside, there are numerous trolls and bad faith “debaters” around, but just because you consider something petty doesn’t mean the other person does.

    This is what i was trying to convey in my reply earlier, if almost all interactions end up with what you consider petty behaviour it’s worth considering the possibility that you are contributing to that outcome somehow.

    Like, I don’t even want to argue.

    So don’t, if you don’t want to continue the interaction then don’t reply.

    Meaning what, it’s also me?

    Possibly, yes.

    lol If I’m the one telling people to stop and act like adults and that gets 180° turns in behaviour, what does that say to you?

    Honestly, it says to me that your communication skills might need some work.

    Again, to be clear i don’t mean your communication of facts and information, i mean your ability to understand how phrasing something in a certain way might illicit a certain kind of response.

    “Stop acting like a child” is a very good way to build enmity and confrontation, which is useful in some cases, if you intend to illicit that response.

    However, saying something like that and then being confused/frustrated when people get confrontational and dismissive suggests a lack of understanding about the impact of tone and phrasing.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I see. I don’t agree with everything but I’ll think about it. Sincerely, thanks for the feedback.