Bigger than Jesus, Bigger than wrestling. Bigger than The Beatles, and bigger than breast implants.

I took a shit the other day - they don’t want you to know this but it’s true - took a big, big shit, a really beautiful, big… big shit, I stood up and said, “Wow, that’s a big shit.” People are saying it’s the biggest shit they’ve ever seen. Lots of people are saying it, it’s true. People come up to me and say, “Mr President, sir, we’ve never had shits like that before.” And Kamala Harris, Fartin’ Kamala - I call her Fartin’ Kamala - she wants to take your toilets, folks. No more toilets, that’s what they want, it’s crazy. I had more toilets - thousands of toilets, beautiful toilets. And now you have - they’re killing us on toilets. It’s a disgrace. My plumber, he’s the most amazing plumber, folks, he’s always doing the pipes and the… Y’know what he tells me? All our plumbing is coming from different countries, bad countries. Why aren’t we using good American pipes? We’re gonna bring back American pipes, people. It’s terrible what these foreign pipes are doing to this country, awful. We had a beautiful deal with China, it was a perfect deal, but now they’re killing us - you know what goes in those pipes? Gas, and many, many other things, but gas - really powerful stuff, very powerful. They wanna take our gas, folks. It’ll all be electric, electric cars and… all the other things, electric. If I win, we’re getting rid of the electric, no more electric, folks, it’s terrible, it really is.