• @[email protected]
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    12711 months ago

    A bidet. You can install it yourself in 20 minutes and enjoy a lifetime of cleaner buttholes and save on tp.

    • @[email protected]
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      611 months ago

      I’ll never ‘go’ without one!

      Seriously though, bidets rock. Try one, get a good one, and you’ll never go back.

      • @[email protected]
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        1211 months ago

        Every time I’ve tried to use a bidet, I’ve hated it. The water feels uncomfortable and sudden, and then I feel like I either can’t get dry with toilet paper and get chapped later, or it breaks up from the water and leaves pieces everywhere. The air dry varieties seem to contribute to chapped butt too. I know some people use wash cloths, but frankly the idea of leaving butthole cloth out in the bathroom weirds me out also.

        What is the secret to enjoying these things? Am I just too damn American for them?

        • @[email protected]
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          1011 months ago

          When I use a bidet at home, I always do a few wipes first to avoid the breakup. Then I pat down with tp after to dry.

          I get that some people want to save tp, but I just want to feel clean after I drop a bomb.

          • @[email protected]
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            211 months ago

            Saving TP is a minor benefit. More important is never getting monkey butt, never embarrassed because your significant-other/FWB/date sees skid marks in your underwear, and no irritation from excessive wiping if you have sticky poop.

        • @[email protected]
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          311 months ago

          That’s still saving a significant amount of TP even with the double wipe. Before I got a bidet I was wiping upwards of 5-10 times after some shits.

          • @[email protected]
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            211 months ago

            But what about the chapped butt? For real, the three times I’ve gotten to use one for more than a week (fancy ones in hotels), I end up feeling like a baby with diaper rash. I’d use triple the TP gladly just to avoid that feeling. I’m not someone who has that happen to them normally either, so it was definitely the bidets.

              • @[email protected]
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                111 months ago

                Fancy Japanese bidet at a Hawaii resort, heated seats, temperature control, three speed blow dry, aiming modes—the works. It was horrible.

            • @[email protected]
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              211 months ago

              Tbh I love a bidet because when your poop is not totally solid, no matter how much you wipe with tp your butt never gets fully clean and it feels horrible and it burns. If I don’t have a bidet I usually get in the shower to clean. Then just dry with a towel or TP. Ever since I started using it it’s difficult to poop in a public place

              • @[email protected]
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                211 months ago

                I know you’re meaning that it’s so good you’ll never go back, but I’m hearing that you’ve handicapped yourself for public restrooms, lol.

                • @[email protected]
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                  111 months ago

                  You’re not wrong lol if I poop in a public restroom and am not able to clean well I feel uncomfortable (burning/itchy/irritated) until I can go home lol

            • @[email protected]
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              111 months ago

              Your body will quickly get used to using a bidet. It’s like shaving - the first time you shave your skin is dried out, but your body quickly adapts. If chapping is a problem, a dab of hand lotion or some lip balm solves it.

        • @ExperimentalGuy
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          111 months ago

          The key is to use a hose and not a fixed one. The fixed ones don’t really allow you to clean where you’d like whereas the hose ones let you aim wherever. At least that’s how it’s been in my experience.

    • @[email protected]
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      411 months ago

      I was looking for this, glad I found it. Bidets are life changing on a level that’s honestly hard to describe. Basically, it’s kind of like that super addictive game from S5E6 of Star Trek The Next Generation, except without the negatives. I’ve you start, you can’t stop.

      • @ExperimentalGuy
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        211 months ago

        Depends on the water that ur toilet gets. They usually hook up to the toilet reservoir intake (I don’t know the actual word for this, it’s just the backrest part). All the bidets I’ve used have been fine, I haven’t had any thatre like too hot or too cold then again, unlike Goldilocks, I’m not too picky ab temperature.

      • @[email protected]
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        111 months ago

        I actually don’t mind it, especially in the summer. You can get heated ones that cost more. Maybe my anus isn’t that temperature sensitive?

    • sixty
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      011 months ago

      Don’t you get shit water all over your taint and cheeks?

      • @[email protected]
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        111 months ago

        I can see why you would think that happens, but it either doesn’t happen, or it does and the shit water gets washed away by the continuous spray of clean water just like taking a shower.