Herbert F. (84) has been in a Taliban dungeon in Kabul for six months: the right-wing extremist blogger from Vienna had traveled to the Islamist country in the Hindu Kush despite warnings. He had wanted to show that, contrary to the opinion of experts, Afghanistan was a safe country of origin and that refugees could be deported there without hesitation - and proved the exact opposite.
He wishes he’d gone to Rome
Nah, Romans were gay
—Him, definitely
Edit: I just wish I had an old-timey slur to make it more realistic
Well they probably were gay. A lot of them were very much into that kind of thing and no one back then seemed to mind.
This is such an understated reply, very humorous :)
Edit: also, an orifice is an orifice