Note: It’s for drug possession, not anything super bad.

13 years ago, my now former best friend tried to first con me out of money and then did it to my mom instead because my daughter had just been born (which he knew) and money was tight. I always knew he had addiction issues, but I never thought he would actually stoop that low.

Today, my wife showed me that there was a public database where you could search Indiana court cases, so out of curiosity, I typed in his name.

21 court cases, mostly drug, vehicle and fraud offenses in the county where we grew up, went to college in, and which he eventually moved back to, stretching back to 1999! Note he didn’t even live there for 10 years!

He’s currently in prison until December because he was found in possession of methamphetamine. And it was not his first time in prison or the first time he had meth on him. He did drugs when we were in college, but the most serious one was cocaine and that was very occasional. I knew he had a drinking problem, and even that he was abusing prescription medication (he offered me Vicodin when I was visiting him in San Francisco and had a headache) but I had no idea he sunk as low as meth.

This was a guy who wanted to compose classical music when I met him in middle school. He was very intellectual and well-read even then. He eventually went to Indiana University, which has one of the world’s top music schools, for composition. He always was very full of life and cheer and how far he has fallen! I knew he’d sunk really low back when he conned me, but this was the first friend I ever made in middle school in the eighth grade after going through all of seventh grade with no friends and we could and did talk about anything for hours, so I kept him in my life for as long as I could.

After college, he got way into restaurants and cooking and was working at some really high-end places, so when he contacted me and told me he wanted to do a pop-up restaurant as a way of starting a full business and needed $400, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We mostly talked to each other online at that point, so he gave me a pretty false picture of his life.

I’m honestly not sad about the end of the friendship anymore. I cut him completely out of my life 13 years ago and I do not miss him at this point. Would it have been nice to sit together on a porch in the nursing home in 40 years and spend hours talking about Kafka? Sure. But I’m not losing any sleep over it. In fact, when she told me about the database, it was the first time I had thought about him in ages, but he was the only person I thought of and I had to look.

So I’m not sad about it. I shouldn’t even be surprised about it. But it’s so weird knowing my former closest friend is spending a year in prison.

Have you ever found out anything like this about an old friend you lost touch with?

  • @RagnarokOnline
    link
    English
    174 months ago

    I haven’t, but there’s a guy I knew in middle school who was my best friend. He ended up transferring to another school and we grew apart.

    I think about him probably once a month.

    I’ve tried looking him up on socials but he doesn’t have much of an online presence. That said, what I was able to find was pretty sketchy and like he was falling into the wrong crowd as he aged.

    I still have affection for him, but sometimes I worry that if I met him again it wouldn’t be a good experience.

    Sorry about your friend and his choices, bud.

    • Flying SquidOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      13
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      Like I said, I’m over it and have been for a long time. Honestly, I’m kind of glad he’s in prison even if I hate the drug war. Feels like a little bit of karma.

      I’ve had bad luck with best friends though. My elementary school best friend died when he was in his 20s- however, he was autistic with symptoms severe enough that he could probably have never lived on his own, so in that sense, I’m glad his parents outlived him, and he died after a very short illness, so he wasn’t in a lot of pain. Now I do miss him. He was always happy and smiling. He was obviously bullied in high school like any weird kid would be, but surprisingly little because it’s pretty hard to bully a guy who’s happy all the time.

      I am the king of shitty luck though, so this actually feels good for a change.

      Edit: I would love to see his mugshots, but that’s not in public records. So instead, I’m spreading gossip amongst my friend group.

      • @RagnarokOnline
        link
        English
        24 months ago

        I’m glad there’s some schadenfreude — it can feel really good to see someone meet their consequences.

        I hope you’ve just been front-loading your bad luck and that you become the king of good luck soon :)

    • Flying SquidOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      114 months ago

      Oh, sorry, that was totally rude of me. I forgot to say that I hope you find your friend soon. Apologies.