New in-bowl ad-screen market.
They already have a smart toilet to chemically analyze your piss. I’m feeling an inefficiency in the market.
Any more with these actors?
Phones have definitely not gotten rid of mind shattering, other-worldly dumps that take all your concentration and make you take your shirt off after eating a big, greasy and/or spicy meal.
Hey man are you OK?
I will be once I get off the toilet.
Two hours on it and still going strong.
Can confirm. I’ve been stopped up the last couple days and gave birth to a football this morning. No time for phones, just visceral panic and pleading to the almighty
Glycerin suppositories are the best relief for that.
Gulping a big spoonful of olive oil does it for me. That’s if I haven’t had enough fibre. The oil lubricates things.
It’s gross, but not as gross as pushing something up your shit-clogged rectum.
I don’t enjoy it, but unfortunately I’m on a medication that makes it necessary sometimes, and I do the olive oil trick too. Sometimes you just have to get it out from below.
And eating enough fiber to prevent it. Or metamucil, I guess.
I’m on a medication that makes things move slowly despite fiber and water. Sometimes I just need help.
my brother in christ eat more fibre, just get some psyllium husk if that’s what it takes
I experience this more from diarrhea stomach cramps, not constipation. Or just the capsaicin from super spicy food burning my asshole on the way out.
God I do love that burn afterwards. Feels like defeating an IRL boss
Oh they apparently didn’t experience the real diarrhea shitting, it’s so Zen when your body wants to turn itself inside out for so long that you don’t feel anything anymore. And the feeling after it as if you were raped with a continent. So Zen.
You know it’s about to get real when the shirt comes off and you put the phone down.
And bare down
The shirt coming off is so real. It’s such a strange urge… This cold uncomfortable feeling. Why does that happen??
Smoking is up there. Just close your eyes, atomize the world in front of you, and draw it in through the small, paper tube. Open your eyes and exhale a bit of yourself back into the world.
You leave a bit of yourself in the world, the world leaves a bit of carcinogens in you ❤️
Yin Yang
Lol, I hear you. “All things in moderation” and it can be eating grilled food, walking down streets with cars or enjoying a campfire.
Yes. And deep breathing is that without the paper tube.
When I drank a lot, I was definitely on my phone while vomiting
YOU HEAR THAT, GOD?
I mean in the olden days shitting was that time when you could really engage with the ingredients of that shampoo bottle. Or, you know, books and newspapers. Reading while shitting is probably common since both exist.
here in sweden almost everything has translations in the other nordic languages, and school toilets have heating elements, so before phones it was universal that all students ended up learning “ei sa peitää” which means “do not cover” in finnish
Ne pas couvrir Nicht bedecken Må ikke tilldekkes
Been 20 years so correct me if I’m wrong. Was Spanish on there? Italian?
“Son, never trust a man who doesn’t drink because he’s probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They’re the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They’re usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they’re a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can’t trust a man who’s afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It’s damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he’s heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl.“ - James Crumley
Son, never trust a man who doesn’t drink when he drives; he’s afraid he’ll crash, and a fearful driver is a dangerous driver.
I dry heave pretty much every morning as if it were morning sickness. (More here if you’re curious, but please respect my wishes in that thread.)
If “please let this end quickly” is zen, I don’t like zen.
As someone with chronic idiopathic hyperemesis, this is a mood.
I vomit too often and for too long to find anything zen about it. I spend the entire time heaving anxiously worrying over the state of my tooth enamel and trying to remember if I ate beets or chocolate last night to explain that colour or if I need to call an ambulance.
I vomit while using my phone. I’ll play a podcast, video, music, etc
If I’m going to be heaving for 20 minutes 2-4 times a day every day for a few months, I’m not doing it in silence with my own thoughts.
I’ve been dealing with this on and off for about 7 years now, twice a year I’ll just have a 1-2 months straight where I can’t keep anything down, not even water unless I’m vigilant about stretching out my water intake over a whole day one tiny sip at a time. Then just as suddenly as it starts, one day I’ll wake up and I just magically won’t feel nauseous, and it’s like I was never even sick!
Because it goes away on its own I’ve never been able to get to the bottom of it. When it starts happening, I book in with a doctor, by the time I finally see the doctor, the “flare up” has passed and any tests the doctor runs when I’m not sick are always normal. So doctors will just blame my migraine disorder for it, and move on. I recently learned about Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome so that’s something I’m going to be talking to my doctor about when I see him next.
That really sucks and I’m sorry to hear it. If you can call it lucky, I never actually vomit in that nothing ever comes out. It’s always been dry heaving. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it must be to not even be able to easily drink water. I really hope you find a solution soon and I highly recommend sending all of your medical records to the Mayo Clinic like I did (you can start by filling out a form on their website) if you think your insurance will cover it. The worst they can do is turn you down.
I find your situation just as sucky, sometimes I find dry heaving is worth because there is no end, at least if I’m bringing something up there is an end in sight.
Unfortunately and fortunately I’m not American, we don’t really have anything like the Mayo clinic, but at least my doctors and specialist appointments have all been less than $500 out of pocket every time.
Sorry to hear that there is no specialist clinic for you, but I hope you find a solution soon!
Then just as suddenly as it starts, one day I’ll wake up and I just won’t feel nauseous, and it’s like I was never even sick!
Because it goes away on its own I’ve never been able to get to the bottom of it. When it starts happening, I book in with a doctor, by the time I finally see the doctor, the “flare up” has passed and any tests the doctor runs when I’m not sick are always normal.
Yeah, this part hits with me. Every single time I go to the doctor, the symptoms disappear, and I question whether I really need a doctor. Then they reappear again :-/
It’s like the sickness is avoiding being detected or sth… Like honestly, it stops the exact day of the appointment. And it’s worst on friday evening and saturday, where there’s definitely no impulse doctor visit. I’m being played.
Damn that’s a crazy and tough situation. Hope you get it figured out and feel better.
Thanks!
Same here: I can’t imagine feeling like shit all the time
You have a similar issue? I’m so sorry.
No, echoing the sentiment of the person above.
Did I do the thing where I reply to your wrong comment? Fuck.
No, you replied to the right one, I was just confused and sad that someone else might be dealing with it too.
Honestly, dude(or dudette) I hope you find respite soon, or at least get it to a somewhat bearable level.
The histamine allergy sounds like it might be similar to what you’re experiencing.
I have a fair bit of food sensitivitiea, myself, and some are really weird, but nothing like what you’re going through
I forgot to mention in my other mess of a comment, but just in case you don’t know: a lot of times you can get Ensure prescribed and covered by insurance. IIRC there’s Gatorade-like electrolyte drink options you may be able to get covered, too. It might help free up some money for other things
I don’t think our insurance would do that because UHC doesn’t tend to do that sort of thing, but I guess it’s worth checking.
I read your post and can’t help but notice that you haven’t tried a steady diet of calamari.
But seriously, I’ve never read or heard about anything like that, and it sounds like utter hell. I hope you’re able to find relief soon.
Thanks, I appreciate it!
And although it is true that squid eat other squid, I’m all about solidarity with my cephalopod kin! Except nautili. Those guys are assholes.
It sounds like we’re dealing with super similar things, except sometimes I can manage to eat some solid foods, and sometimes I can even keep it down! I survive on Ensure and electrolyte drinks like Gatorade/Liquid IV/Pedialyte, too. I’ve got a low weight but kinda bloated or distended (for lack of a better word - I’ve got intense brain fog, I’m sorry) gut area, too. I’ve got some theories* but I don’t have the money or resources or energy to try the chaos of doctors throwing things at me to see what sticks, or suggesting stupid shit I already tried a million times, or blaming it on me somehow, lol. So I’m just kind of dealing with it because of a mix of lack of money/resources and being burned out by the experiences of being ‘mysteriously’ chronically i’ll and trying to seek medical care. I hope and pray you figure it out soon and don’t get burned out!
*I’d like to suggest looking further into one of my theories/something someone else mentioned in that thread, because I’ve found that the way it affects a lot of people isn’t super well reflected by the stuff you usually find when reading about it, but I don’t want to disrespect your wishes! If you’re interested, let me know, and if not, I’d totally understand. I know how people can get with their unsolicited advice and how annoying and exhausting it can be, even if they’re just trying to help lol.
I wish you all the best and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I hope the Mayo Clinic can help figure something out. I totally suck at replying and stuff because of my health issues, but you’re welcome to message me (or I can give you my email or number to text or discord or something, if you’d like) whenever you want to vent or anything to someone who has some understanding and overlapping experiences. Also I hope this all makes sense and isn’t too much of a mess to read - burn out and brain fog and stuff makes it tough to gather and convey my thoughts. But I wanted to at least try to say something because our experiences our so damn similar!! I really feel for you.
What’s your favorite flavor of ensure? I usually go for the Milk Chocolate (of the Plus variety since it has more calories and protein and all that.) Also I don’t know if you can stomach Pedialyte, but there’s a variety that has prevital prebiotics (or something like that - brain fog again, I apologize) and I don’t know if they make any difference, but I figure it’s probably good for my stomach issues. I dunno, just throwing that out there.
I wish you all the best and I’m sorry this comment is such a mess!! Please don’t feel any obligation to reply 💕
I’d like to suggest looking further into one of my theories/something someone else mentioned in that thread, because I’ve found that the way it affects a lot of people isn’t super well reflected by the stuff you usually find when reading about it, but I don’t want to disrespect your wishes! If you’re interested, let me know
I would like to know. I’ve experienced a similar thing.
Thanks so much, I’m sorry you’re dealing with something similar. The only Ensure I drink is vanilla because you only have two options when you buy in bulk at Sam’s club is vanilla and chocolate and I don’t consume chocolate. There’s a John Oliver episode about the reason why on YouTube you can watch if you also never want to have chocolate again. I’ve told my chocolate-loving wife that she probably should remain ignorant of why herself. (It’s nothing that would make the chocolate itself physically disgusting, it’s an ethical issue.)
But that’s way too political for this post.
Who’s out there putting hands on the rim of toilet bowls? 'fess up.
Depends how drunk and how violently I’m vomiting, really. At some point I just need all the support I can get… You’re not gonna die from touching some old pee.
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Normally? No
When I had E. Coli last year? Yes. And when I got too weak to do that I slumped over the bowl almost kissing the porcelain, absolutely disgusting but it was that or…
When I got to weak for that I flipped onto the floor and spiritually connected with mankind from years past cuz holy shit do I understand how diarrhea killed people now
I’m already leaving the situation needing to clean myself. There are other things taking priority over hand placement
If it’s my own toilet it’s probably one of the most sanitised places I can put my hands
(I’m very hygienic when it comes to my toilet, it gets sprayed with disinfectant several times a day)
I clean the rim of the toilet bowl in case I need to vomit later. (Was in a frat)
I keep the seat down and hover depending on the velocity. If it’s gonna return fire, I’ll use the seat for support.
Read this while wiping.
read this while shitting
They’re not wrong.
You can tell they’re normal because they don’t know what gooning is.
I’m sorry for anyone that has eyes right now.
Maybe this is what Apple is trying to solve with spatial computing.
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When the ar app drops where high score is highest volume in shortest time…
I like to have a podcast on while I’m vomiting. I might as well use that time to learn more about WWII.
This post was brought to you by Han-Tyumi, the confused cyborg
