That last bit of defense before fully realizing your inner beauty 💜

  • Elise@beehaw.org
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    il y a 7 mois

    Because women liked me as a guy.

    Then one day someone was interested, but not just that. She was also genuinely emotionally available and I knew that’s what I wanted.

    Up until that point I had only been with emotionally reserved women. After a lot of consideration I figured out that that wasn’t for me any more.

    But… for some unexpected reason I was overcome by fear, and I just stood there all frozen. I knew I was ready and got lucky and wanted to connect, but I was just so deeply frightened somehow. It was confusing and I gave her short answers. I felt bad for her.

    I waited for her to leave. After like 15 minutes or so she finally got the message and left. I didn’t want her to leave.

    It confused me and that’s when I realized it was simply because I couldn’t show my true self and my emotions.

    After that I started taking it very seriously and within months my egg cracked, and I realized how sad my life would be without me.

    1000010719

    • oNevia@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPM
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      il y a 7 mois

      and I realized how sad my life would be without me.

      Fucking mood.

      So happy to hear you have not only embraced your true self but are so much happier for it ❤️

      • Elise@beehaw.org
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        il y a 7 mois

        Thanks! What’s weird is that I always considered myself to be authentic, and I received compliments along those lines too. Being human is a tricky business.

        What’s also weird is that right at this moment I’m both depressed and the happiest I’ve ever been. Cuz I’m healing!