The only thing I will add to that is that once I became aware of the leaked DM, I removed the post myself, contacted the lead mod and made it clear that posting DMs without permission is not acceptable.

I don’t feel it was something that warranted demoting or removal, unless the action is repeated, which it has not been. I agree that reposting it blanked out with passive aggressive comments didn’t help anything, but by the same token, neither did the active dog piling that several of our users (including myself) received from Hexbear, most/all of whom are still active. Just as you disagree with the Blahaj moderation expectations in regards to 196, I disagree with the Hexbear moderation expectations in regards to dogpiling and harassment. Norms tolerated on Hexbear would get someone banned from Blahaj very quickly. I watched as you tried to work around the dunking culture just enough so that we could work together, and I watched as your efforts failed.

I won’t defend the actions of some of our users in the events that went down, yet I feel that many Hexbear users seem to gloss over the actions from many of their community members. Hexbear was not an innocent party in this.

For all of that, trans solidarity is incredibly important to me, and like you, I would refederate with Hexbear if it were simply up to me, because I think trans solidarity is worth striving for, but like Hexbear, Blahaj users are strongly against refederating, and it seems like a bad choice to enforce “solidarity”, because at that point, it isn’t solidarity.

And on a final note, despite the fact we never resolved this situation, working with you as we tried to resolve it was a moment of positivity in an otherwise shitty series of events. You do Hexbear proud