I never said I think this should be a men fix it problem, I just think both sexes should be working on noticing it, calling out behavior, and fixing it. I’m my experience, women are constantly vigilant, and men are inconsistently vigilant, and much much more likely to give other men the benefit of the doubt regardless of what women say.
I’m not asking anyone to read my mind. If you think men don’t talk about their minor sexual assaults because men don’t talk period, I guess you just have a very quiet friend group. I have absolutely heard men talk about this stuff at multiple work places, not even to necessarily brag, just because they don’t Even realize what they’re doing is wrong. The number of stories I heard at college alone is gross and frightening.
I’d like men to call out other men/ their friends, because women fear physical retaliation for calling out this behavior: any man exhibiting this behavior has already proven they don’t believe women should be treated with respect, care, or boundaries. If men call out their friends, likely the consequence is a strained relationship.
I don’t know what to tell you, I’ve never seen or heard of guys talking about that stuff outside of a few isolated incidents. (except college, which is its own fucked up thing)
Maybe you live in a very conservative, misogynistic area. But even when I lived in the deep south, that kind of talk was rare.
Like I think some girls think there’s this whole hidden world of guy talk as soon as women aren’t around to hear. That doesn’t happen.
It does happen, though I’m glad to learn it doesn’t happen in your circles. As a former receptionist who could hear in the conference room of my office though the people inside didn’t realize, the men absolutely did say much worse things when no women were in the room.
I went to a liberal arts college full of progressive and Democrats who openly disparaged conservatives. I witnessed often reprehensible behavior.
One time my husband called out a misogynistic comment in a friend group chat. He found out a year later calling out that behavior once is why he was never added to the males only chat. They didn’t want to have to “watch what they say” around him. Men definitely do speak differently in situations where women are not present. Not all men, but plenty.
I never said I think this should be a men fix it problem, I just think both sexes should be working on noticing it, calling out behavior, and fixing it. I’m my experience, women are constantly vigilant, and men are inconsistently vigilant, and much much more likely to give other men the benefit of the doubt regardless of what women say.
I’m not asking anyone to read my mind. If you think men don’t talk about their minor sexual assaults because men don’t talk period, I guess you just have a very quiet friend group. I have absolutely heard men talk about this stuff at multiple work places, not even to necessarily brag, just because they don’t Even realize what they’re doing is wrong. The number of stories I heard at college alone is gross and frightening.
I’d like men to call out other men/ their friends, because women fear physical retaliation for calling out this behavior: any man exhibiting this behavior has already proven they don’t believe women should be treated with respect, care, or boundaries. If men call out their friends, likely the consequence is a strained relationship.
I don’t know what to tell you, I’ve never seen or heard of guys talking about that stuff outside of a few isolated incidents. (except college, which is its own fucked up thing)
Maybe you live in a very conservative, misogynistic area. But even when I lived in the deep south, that kind of talk was rare.
Like I think some girls think there’s this whole hidden world of guy talk as soon as women aren’t around to hear. That doesn’t happen.
It does happen, though I’m glad to learn it doesn’t happen in your circles. As a former receptionist who could hear in the conference room of my office though the people inside didn’t realize, the men absolutely did say much worse things when no women were in the room.
I went to a liberal arts college full of progressive and Democrats who openly disparaged conservatives. I witnessed often reprehensible behavior.
One time my husband called out a misogynistic comment in a friend group chat. He found out a year later calling out that behavior once is why he was never added to the males only chat. They didn’t want to have to “watch what they say” around him. Men definitely do speak differently in situations where women are not present. Not all men, but plenty.
Fair enough, I guess we just have wildly different personal experiences. Maybe mine is the abnormal one.