You know how some people have aphantasia and cannot visualize anything in their minds?
I feel like that about poetry, for some reason none of it resonates with me at all. It’s like I’m missing something that a lot of other people seem to perceive or process.
I don’t know this author or her story, but it sounds like she’s describing the experience an old roommate of mine would have. She was bi polar and could expect to have an episode every two years. She became a different person, then had to look back on the memories of the things “The Crazy” did in her name once it had passed. It was very hard for her.
You’re allowed to not enjoy poetry.
I suspect that one day you’ll find a poem that speaks to you in a way no other has before. And then you would be allowed to enjoy that poem, even though you don’t typically enjoy poetry.
So much of the human experience has already been experienced, so many thoughts have already been thunk. If you keep reading the poems you come across, you’ll eventually find one where the author has a lived experience similar to your own, or thoughts that you didn’t know how to put into words.
I used to be that way with most poems and now some poems make me cry even when I don’t feel like I know what they’re talking about.