• molten@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    So, I usually make sure my first few dates are in public places. Nothing too fancy and nothing too cheap. I opt for something like a local restaurant. That being said, if you showed up like that, I’d probably be a little confused, but I don’t judge, and I like the goth aesthetic. Whatever. I would probably try my best to be polite. The problem is I know other people are judgemental. If I come back to that restaurant later, will I be that guy who showed up with a scantily clad alt chick? Will people judge me? What if I see the waitstaff in public or they end up hanging out with one of my friend groups? Would it be awkward? I know it’s not my fault, but I don’t like to blame other people, so what would I say? “She just showed up that way?” Nah, that’s too victim-like. Should I play it off and be like, “yeah, that’s just how I roll”? I’d have to consider.

    Then I’d just kind of have to accept that since we’re here, I might as well make the best of it, so I’d try to enjoy myself and offer a little banter, test the waters. But I doubt I could stop my mind from racing in the background. “Okay, so when I get home, I need to check Glassdoor or ask around for their turnover rate and calculate when a safe return date is. If they have a high turnover, I might be able to come back in a few months, but if people usually stick around, I might want to wait a year, so maybe their memory is foggy, and I can deny that I was that guy from a year ago.” You’d probably notice that I was distracted and get uncomfortable. Hopefully, the dinner date goes quickly to make the awkwardness a little more bearable. I usually offer to pay the check, then I’d offer to walk you to your car to be polite, hoping you’d decline. I’d get out of there, go home, do something to distract myself from how weird that was, and definitely 100% ghost. Not out of rudeness. You look really pretty, and for convenience, I’m assuming we have compatible personalities, but just because I don’t know if I could handle a repeat of that.

    I’m single BTW.