I know this is probably a shitposting meme. And my wife and my female friend, when I asked them, both laughed and said, “Yeah all the time.” I can’t tell if it’s sarcasm.

I asked this because Im a guy, and we’ve heard it all before. The guy plowing a warm apple pie. The ookie cookie BS. The jerk off with a sock. Dudes have done some weird things. I absolutely have found myself relieving some stress in interesting ways.

But veggies: Is this a common thing? Am I going to have to worry that my daughter, when she reaches a curious age, starts exploring with vegetables?

During puberty, should I start giving my children Amazon gift cards or no questions ask money to protect my produce?

I am aware this question is ridiculous and I am prepared to be ridiculed.

  • arin@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Most hairbrush handle designs are intentionally… yeah. But plastic is porous and nearly impossible to fully disinfect, so girls who reach puberty should be provided with high quality silicone or glass to protect them from getting a bad infection. Prudeness in our society will just hide issues like infection until it gets really awful.

    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4 months ago

      why is it just assumed that they’ll use an object? hands work fine too, you don’t assume people with penises will inevitably get an infection from sticking it inside a vacuum cleaner…

      And like, lesbians exist?? they have lots of fun just with rubbing!

      • I Cast Fist
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        4 months ago

        Because fingers get tired and, in the case of women, the object can go further inside than her fingers. Depending on setup, she can go hands free, too.

        Sticking a dick in a vacuum cleaner is not a proper comparison because most of the dick is protected by skin and even the glans will mostly be fine with the same dirt/contaminants that you can wash off your skin.

        Anything that gets inside your body represents a much greater risk of infections. A better comparison would be to a man pretend sucking something or sticking it up his ass.

        Please don’t skip biology classes.

        • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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          4 months ago

          well thanks for being condescending, not sure what this has to do with biology class?

          yes, fingers get tired, why do you think there’s the joke about guys with one suspiciously muscular arm?
          my point is that using your hands is perfectly fine and what you’ll naturally gravitate towards since it’s extremely readily available, it’s strange to me that everyone immediately assumes that women have to use toys to get off, it feels vaguely misogynist somehow, as if girls are incapable of pleasuring themselves…

          that toys feel better is a non argument since that applies arguably doubly so to guys, who can both shove something up their bum and get a fleshlight, and yet no one’s going around saying guys need toys to get off.

        • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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          4 months ago

          and yet no one worries about what boys get up to, they don’t consider buying their sons a fleshlight so they won’t fuck the couch (though maybe a specific pair of parents should have).

          it just feels strange to me that young women are assumed to be incapable of not harming themselves while having fun, like oh what a coincidence that it’s girls who need protecting, huh?

      • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Because they don’t know how to get a woman off acoustically. You make great points. Majority of the time I’ve masturbated, it’s been without a toy

        • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Acoustically? Like play the guitar so well she gets off no handed? I’m really confused by your word choice.

        • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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          4 months ago

          Because they don’t know how to get a woman off acoustically

          I think you mean “digitally”. Digital = with your digits (ie. fingers). Acoustically = with sound (?)

          Unless you’re talking about ear-tonguing. Which I agree is hot but I think it’d be pretty hard to make a woman cum that way.

            • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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              4 months ago

              Lol, never seen that one. Agree that I am a nerd.

              Kinda wild to me that a woman could have this take since as a dude I’m very used to playing acoustic dick. Can’t imagine just deciding I don’t wanna nut anymore because I’d have to do it by hand. I gotta say I kinda envy women since it’s pretty socially acceptable for them to use toys compared to the fellas. It’d be cool if I could just have a fleshlight or sex doll in a drawer somewhere and nobody would think it’s any weirder than a girl having a vibrator in her drawer. They look like they’d feel good and be a fun time. But there’s so much judgement around them.

      • Zozano@lemy.lol
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        4 months ago

        Despite what you may have seen in porn, using your own fingers for penetration is kind of awkward in terms of angle, and has a very different feeling.

        I think the implication you’re making about lesbians is that they participate in substantially less penetration?

        Being interested in women doesn’t change what feels good in regards to physical gratification.

        • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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          4 months ago

          what i’m implying is that external stimulation also feels good, and i find the idea that you need internal stimulation to be strange. no one applies this to people with dicks, anyone with a dick is just assumed that external stimulation is sufficient and internal stimulation is an extra thing for brave people.