• TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      It does. Boy is a cis het male human who is growing up to be a man. We as men are generalised by queer and feminist people as one giant toxic entity, and I am not part of that. I feel offended by this. The feelings of men are just as important as that of women and trans people, and we all are supposed to be equal beings worthy of respect.

      There exist fanatical groups like Proud Boys, but in no way is “boy’s club” the same as that connotation presented above.

      • priapus@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        It’s a boys club because its a club that only accepts boys. Its genuinly that simple. A girls club would be one that only accepts girls. There is no generalization happening. This is some real incel shit you’re on, and thats a pipeline you should get off.

        • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          I am not sure if there is any “incel” vibe to pointing out these labels that are very much part of patriarchy. Selective patriarchy cannot be utilised, if the goal is to dismantle it.

          “Boy’s club” is a notion that affirms all cis het males are bigots, and is a word born out of binary gender patriarchy. This is the primary reason why this label is used. Using it in itself is a form of bigotry, no matter if you like it or not, since linguistics and contextual grammar works in only one way, and that way is same for all of us.

          • Default_Defect@midwest.social
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            1 year ago

            Its definitely a commonly used name for the mindset they are describing. There’s nothing to try to defend. As another cis het male, “the boy’s club” is nothing to aspire to, unless of course, the goal is to belittle and victimize women.

            • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              “Boy’s club” is just as bad as “girl’s club”, since those are both mindsets and spaces born out of binary gender system values. Neither is to be aspired for, but one of them gets more flak for arbitrary reasons. These labels need to stop being used in order to condemn and purge the binary gender values and in order to make society more inclusive. Anyone using these labels bolsters patriarchal values.

              • Default_Defect@midwest.social
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                1 year ago

                At least in a stereotypical sense, the girls club is generally a group of women talking shit about other people behind their backs, sometimes bullying other women to their faces. You don’t commonly hear about a workplace of mainly women sexually harassing the few men to the point of self harm or raping them.

                The labels may be borne of patriarchal values, but the mind sets of the people IN these groups are too. In my opinion, you’re simply denying reality in favor of a progressive idea of how it should be.

                • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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                  1 year ago

                  Reality is that we live in a binary gender patriarchal system, and we are ultimately denying it and changing it. The issue I am pointing out is that even queer people like parent commenter are utilising these patriarchal labels, intentionally or otherwise, and that they are clearly not on the correct path to bolstering inclusivity by pushing boys/men away. Maybe I overestimate people.

                  • AceCephalon@pawb.social
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                    1 year ago

                    The term “boy’s club” here is really not generalizing “men” or “boys” as a whole, but rather it’s by its usage criticizing the specific group mentality it describes, that of a group of “boys” who treat women with less respect than each other, or otherwise exclude said women, as in at least some cultures is common from some generally younger “boys” who haven’t really matured past a mentality usually developed from a young age, because they lack the experience to know it’s wrong.

          • priapus@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            You’re misconstruing the meaning and intent of the phrase to support your argument. It in no way implies or affirms that all cis het males are bigots, only the males it is directly being used against. Similarly, calling a man a misogynist does not mean that all men are misogynists.

      • ComradeGiraffe@lemmygrad.ml
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        1 year ago

        Boy is a cis het male human who is growing up to be a man.

        No? I don’t see why a boy couldn’t be gay, for example.

        • TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          <1% of global population statistics where people identify as nonbinary says otherwise. Most cis males end up growing as cis het males, and not mtf non-binary. A boy could be gay, but less than 1 out of 100 are.