A mistake many men make before going into a serious relationship is they think avoiding conflict and avoiding arguments should be their goal for both finding a partner and sustaining a relationship with them.
The whole idea of committing to someone long-term is that you want to pick someone who can share your life, that means you need someone whom you feel safe enough with that you can talk about or argue about the most personal of topics. You can disagree with each other and still be safe. A good relationship lets you be vulnerable with someone else and gives you a place where you can both let down your masks and be honest, and this often takes the form of emotional efforts to understand each other.
But where we’re at now is a rapid backslide from that ideal image of relationships. We have people retreating to social media and bubble-worlds online where you can get your every terrible idea validated and your every insecurity defended. Where if you don’t like how someone makes you feel, you can just click them away or call for mods. With men in these spaces, their attitude about women who disagree with them is less than charitable, to say the least.
When you spend time in that kind of environment and then go into a relationship with another person, you won’t have emotional growth, it will be worse than if you were just a blank-slate. These forums and sites create bad mental habits. In self-defense I taught people for many years “It takes five minutes to take on a bad habit, and five years to get rid of it.”
We are sponges for ideas and feelings of others, if you fill that sponge with angry men lashing out at the world and ranting about their own fantasies and validations, you’re not going to be ready to have a real, intimate connection with another person.
This perfectly describes a few of them. It started as off-color jokes. Now anything they disagree with or pushback is labeled as a psyop or similar and brushed away.
One friend’s partner pulled me aside and asked me to hang out with him more IRL. I didn’t understand why at first. Now I’m assuming it’s because the cracks are starting to show even with the mask.
I wish there was an easy way to turn it around. Seems like they’re too stubborn, brainwashed and or unwilling to confront anything at this point since like you said, their feelings are validated by popular and powerful people they look up to.
When you live in that kind of mentality, only shitty people hang out with you anymore, and shitty people tend to have shitty relationships if any, reinforcing each other’s attitudes about women and relationships and forming larger and larger communities of like-minded individuals, and then BAM next thing you know Jordan Peterson becomes a best-selling author.
A mistake many men make before going into a serious relationship is they think avoiding conflict and avoiding arguments should be their goal for both finding a partner and sustaining a relationship with them.
The whole idea of committing to someone long-term is that you want to pick someone who can share your life, that means you need someone whom you feel safe enough with that you can talk about or argue about the most personal of topics. You can disagree with each other and still be safe. A good relationship lets you be vulnerable with someone else and gives you a place where you can both let down your masks and be honest, and this often takes the form of emotional efforts to understand each other.
But where we’re at now is a rapid backslide from that ideal image of relationships. We have people retreating to social media and bubble-worlds online where you can get your every terrible idea validated and your every insecurity defended. Where if you don’t like how someone makes you feel, you can just click them away or call for mods. With men in these spaces, their attitude about women who disagree with them is less than charitable, to say the least.
When you spend time in that kind of environment and then go into a relationship with another person, you won’t have emotional growth, it will be worse than if you were just a blank-slate. These forums and sites create bad mental habits. In self-defense I taught people for many years “It takes five minutes to take on a bad habit, and five years to get rid of it.”
We are sponges for ideas and feelings of others, if you fill that sponge with angry men lashing out at the world and ranting about their own fantasies and validations, you’re not going to be ready to have a real, intimate connection with another person.
This perfectly describes a few of them. It started as off-color jokes. Now anything they disagree with or pushback is labeled as a psyop or similar and brushed away.
One friend’s partner pulled me aside and asked me to hang out with him more IRL. I didn’t understand why at first. Now I’m assuming it’s because the cracks are starting to show even with the mask.
I wish there was an easy way to turn it around. Seems like they’re too stubborn, brainwashed and or unwilling to confront anything at this point since like you said, their feelings are validated by popular and powerful people they look up to.
When you live in that kind of mentality, only shitty people hang out with you anymore, and shitty people tend to have shitty relationships if any, reinforcing each other’s attitudes about women and relationships and forming larger and larger communities of like-minded individuals, and then BAM next thing you know Jordan Peterson becomes a best-selling author.