• Comment105@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.net has an [x/y] pronoun tag, signaling how important they consider their pronouns, and explicitly instructs any user referring to them to use those specific pronouns.

    Obsession is sometimes the right word, but I see it more as unnecessary messiness either for their own validation or to signal allyship.

    I don’t think we need an internet culture that puts enough value on pronouns to call them out so clearly above all other things. I think getting the pronouns wrong should be fine, just like any other thing we get wrong.

    Besides, we already had much briefer language for this. They chose “ButtBidet [he/him]” over “MrButtBidet”, the reason is strange. Like their name.

    • goat@sh.itjust.worksOPM
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      2 months ago

      Hexbear forces you to use pronouns when you make an account.

      but yeah, people who obsess over pronouns need to go outside or get some self-esteem. I’ve been misgendered tons on this site, and I never bother correcting them because I do not care.

      • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        One of the old rules: “there are no girls on the internet”. Probably due to be reworded but the point is not that women don’t exist, it’s that your gender is actually irrelevant in most discussions.

        • Comment105@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          Some people definitely use it in the “there are literally basically no women here, so you’re lying” way, even when the % of women gets over 10, 20% or more.

          I feel like the only places where the saying/attitude loses influence is when the distribution gets closer to equal.

          But yeah, yours is the ideal interpretation. We’re practically anonymous to most users, you can use it to be treated like an equal. You can talk to anyone just the same as anyone else – even the most bigoted won’t know, so you have their ear just the same as anyone else would.

      • Comment105@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        The obligatory part of it changes things, I didn’t know that.

        But yeah, I’d say in general a more anonymous internet/forum was in some ways better. Things become a little different when people already know someone’s more personal details like gender, and stuff like country, profession, etc.

      • YeetPics@mander.xyz
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        2 months ago

        Gender is really only important if you plan on using identity politics to win an argument, anyway.

        I also don’t get upset when people can’t guess my favorite color or shoe brand.