kids need to learn how to fight back. the bullies will still be there when you grow up.
Then to make the comparison work, the police (real ones) should be called every time a student reports being assaulted, and it shouldn’t be treated as school disciplinary matter any more than it would be an HR issue if I were punched by a coworker.
sigh. keep trusting in institutions.
i live in a world of pod people.
The police aren’t a good solution but they’re better than forcing our kids to risk being assaulted in school every day because the schools refuse to stop it.
I’ve heard some stories about schools with zero tolerance. Bullying victims soon found out that you get equal punishment for defending themselves or for some serious violence. The logical response is to go full berserker mode.
Got really harshly dogged in sophomore year by an asshole, one day in gym class he threw a basketball (iirc?)directly at my head. That day I gave him a death stare and we squared up, gym teacher came over and threw US both on the ground yelling like you do when dogs start fighting. A year later I was questioned by the school councilor whether I was safe enough to go to my honors classes at a neighboring high school (zero tolerance for bad behavior in this program). I nearly got denied my favorite class (equine science+veterinary science) over that shit. Don’t even remember the guy’s name, but he was a total loser. I’m still salty that I didn’t beat the shit out of him that day lol.
The Ender Wiggin solution. Take that as you will.
“So, Kid A jumped Kid B in the hallway, called them a bigoted slur, then beat Kid B so badly he had to go to the hospital. Kid B tried to fight back, but was overwhelmed. Our solution is that kids are going to be suspended for an equal amount of time and suffer equal repercussions, because zero tolerance.”
Zero tolerance is the absence of humanity as a policy. It’s abhorrent.
Zero tolerance is how you market abdication of responsibility to dipshit parents. “We have a zero tolerance policy” means “We do not value your children, especially the boys. We’re itching for a reason to throw them in the trash.”
It’s more about self preservation. While I won’t claim they give a shit about the children. This is ALL about them covering their own asses. By going “zero tolerance” it takes all judgement and decisions out of the system. The administrators are safe from any backlash or lawsuits.
Totally.
My mom would always ask, “Why didn’t you walk away?” And I would respond “I get suspended either way, at least this way everyone knows not to fuck with me.”
I am so glad I haven’t had to hit someone in a long time.
Or my favorite “Well did you tell them to stop treating you that way?”
Woah, Master Oogway, that’s some deep enlightenment right there. :O
That, and have you ever tried to “walk away” when there are like five people chasing you with the intent of beating you up? Good luck with that.
Or my favorite, “just walk away” when dickhead would sneak up behind me and put me in a headlock…
JFK should have just walked away from Lee Harvey Oswald instead of encouraging him
Oswald was only doing it to get a rise out of him. Kennedy should have been the bigger man. Really, he’s just as culpable for giving Oswald the reaction he wanted.
“Zero tolerance” is just a code word for “zero brain cells.”
And it’s not just stupid on the part of school administrators, it’s actively cowardly. Just insist that right and wrong don’t matter and no one can hold you accountable for anything.
Is being suspended even a punishment? I would have been psyched to be suspended, I hated going to school.
Depends on your home situation. My mom made being suspended so much worse than being at school, and I hated school.
I used to cut class, then get suspended as “punishment”. I called it two for the price of one…
Zero tolerance needs to be applied to administration too, so that they can see how absolutely unjust the policy is against victims of abuse. Spray brake fluid on the superintendent’s car and then accuse them of vandalism. Same thing. Set fire to their lawn, blame them for arson. Same thing. Maybe being part of the injustice will highlight their idiotic reasoning.
Such a dumb fucking policy made by lawyers who don’t react like normal people.
It’s about school reputation? I thought it was about dominance hierarchy, the same reason boys’ sports is a higher priority than any other education program world-wide.
We just like our beefy kids and wish we could toss the defects down a pit like the Spartans.
The teachers are requesting that, if someone harrasses you, you go WAY TOO FAR in defending yourself, and will dole out and withhold punishments to encourage it.
Anyone who wasn’t basically ordering you to do that would behave differently.
Same as it ever was
Back in the 90s, my middle school had a policy of punishing any students involved in a fight. If you threw a punch, you were in trouble. If you got hit, you were in trouble. The official line being that it would be unfair to punish two students brawling simply because the teacher didn’t arrive until the last punch was thrown. But in practical terms, it meant you had a huge disincentive to report being attacked because it would amount to a confession of guilt.
Found this out very personally when a kid in a foul mood decided to start marching through the hallway and swinging at anyone standing in his way. He struck three kids on his way out of the building (including myself). When this got up to the principal’s office, the principal was forced to explain to three different sets of parents why their children were in trouble because one (older, btw) child went on a rampage.
In that particular incident, the offending kid was suspended and ultimately moved to a disciplinary school. But the policy wasn’t changed, just exempted in this particular instance.
And then a school shooting happens and the reputation is more than tarnished
Back when I was in school, I was bullied so bad it resulted in multiple head injuries and even a broken arm.
My parents tried to complain to the school but got nowhere, so they went to the local newspaper. I was interviewed, so were other kids at my school. The story was pulled from the paper at the request of the school superintendent.
Years later after I graduated, I saw a documentary on Amazon about school bullying, and it featured the very same school!
Dox the superintendent.
As shit as social media is, I do think the aspects of it that allow stories like yours to go viral nowadays and bring eyes to a situation beyond the local community can be helpful.
My niece’s school also had an intense bullying situation, and several students posted on Tiktok about it. The videos went semi-viral, and the school got bombarded with phone calls and negative Google reviews (I didn’t even know schools HAD Google reviews until then lol). The regional news station got wind of it this way, and came sniffing around. Suddenly administrators were VERY concerned and attentive to the situation, when they couldn’t even be bothered half of the school year.
I actually think the victim’s family were able to settle something legally because a lawyer offered their services reduced cost or pro-bono, again by learnings about the situation from social media.
Like that kid who got kicked off the swim team because another student engraved the n word on him
It’s lawsuits, not reputation, the administration is worried about.
Teachers, however, actually care about human development, and attempt the impossible job of steering students in the right direction.
The teachers at my school sometimes bullied the students. I wasn’t one of them, but I can’t imagine how horrible it must have been for those kids. They were targeted for their appearance and poor grades by kids and adults alike. Yeah, they were cringe kids whose moms dressed them and did their homework for them, but come on.
Anyway, bad (and abusive) teachers exist and it’s not just an apathetic admin team that causes this issue. It’s not always about liability or reputation, some adults are just awful to kids because their own lives suck and/or they get off on the power.
Anti-bullying policies at schools aren’t meant to protect victims. But they aren’t meant to protect perpetrators either.
They are instead meant to protect the school administration, notably from having to actually assign fault in bullying situations. They can simply say “zero tolerance,” punish all parties equally, and wash their hands of it.
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gotta skin it to win it
I’m a former middle school principal and I hate and avoided the word “Bully” and “Bullying”. It is one of those words that is insanely overused and thrown around. In most cases, kids engage in relational aggression and then one kid takes it too far (intentionally or not) or can “dish it out” but can’t take it. There are some cases where kids will single out the “weird kid” but that is far more rare than relational aggression and much easier to identify and punish. The parents of the those aggressors usually are mortified by their own kid’s behavior unless that kid is being raised by sociopaths.
I have a former school principal in my family and he is very similar in attitude to you. Interesting that it might not just be cops who are all bastards.
Congrats on dropping the ball and never improving, I’m sure the “weird kid” students appreciated the lack of support.
Well I can definitely say the word “former” is the only worthwhile word in this entire post.
“I hate and avoided the word ‘constipation.’ We have occasional irregularity.” No, you’re just full of shit.
You were part of the problem. I’m glad that’s past tense.
Glad to know my middle school principal dropped the ball even harder than I previously thought.
-A Weird Kid
There are some cases where kids will single out the “weird kid” but that is far more rare
If you happen to be the weird kid, it’s not rare at all.
You are the thing this post is making fun of.
I don’t believe that’s true.
Maybe it’s true in American private schools where you need to chose which school to give money to, but where I live schools don’t have reputation to care about. You just go to the one closest.
Happens in public schools where funds get cut for poor performance of students.
I was expelled for being bullied for being queer
Did you read my comment? I am not claming that bullying does not exist.
You are talking about only private schools being the exception from this but the public school I went to doesn’t fit your belief.
Clearly it’s your fault for being bullied.
We don’t discovered tarnish so bully
In my town, a kid and his sister were bullied to the point of the kid shooting up the school. The principal that ignored it all is being hailed as a hero for being shot along with the bully of the sister.
Allegedly, the kid was also a piece of shit beforehand, so being bullied isn’t really a defense of him.
The conversation about doing something about the rampant bullying at the school lasted a week, maybe, before turning back to meaningless platitudes. More memorials, more fundraising, more blue shit to show support, but nothing about stopping the root cause.
