Especially if your existence is a constant failure… When you own nothing, you have no future, job and no woman wants you (and you still a virgin as an old adult)… Recently I’ve feeling suicidal again, I don’t think I have the courage to do it, which makes this worse,I can’t even stop this from messing with me.
Sorry if you are bothered by this but I’m feeling really rotten. Just… Don’t tell me to get help, that’s not a possibility. I’m getting tired of just waking up alive.
More than that. Being dead will save me from pain, but unfortunately dying is painful. And I can’t handle that. I wish I could have lots of money to kick my problems away and buy me company, maybe a wife.