• TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    I’m down voted because nobody reads and understands my comment, which is fine because we all don’t think the same, and I don’t look for approval. By all means, disapprove! I reject conformity! That being said, part of the loneliness many people experience is because they want to “fit in”. Like I said, who cares what others think! As long as it won’t affect you or others in negative way, why should anyone care how you do, what you do, or what you choose! With the exception of extreme examples (as you mentioned, being lgbt in an oppressive society, although Stoicism has something about countering a tyrannical regime but that requires its own wall of text) most of us live in theoretically a free society and yet we choose to let ourselves be imprisoned by opinion of others. And conversely, we let people who don’t mean to us live rent free in our minds. “Hell is other people” as Albert Camus said.

    I don’t equate “content” to “happy”. If you read carefully, I reject “happiness” whatever it means. I define content as being in the medium of accepting what is not in their control and changing when one’s in control. I don’t mean to tell others to “just be happy”, I mean to say “change what you can change”! It is like being on a boat on a river. You can’t change what direction you’re going because the flow of the river’s is fixed, but you can swerve your boat to avoid obstacles. Or if there is a diverging river, you can choose to paddle your boat to that direction if you wish.

    I can’t pretend I know what it’s like to be lgbt or neurodivergent, but most therapists will tell anyone regardless of background that you can only change what you can change. You cannot change the past or control the future, but how you react to the present and the present itself is what you can control.