• Stovetop@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    “Gemini, I am feeling down. What should I do?”

    “Great question, miserable human. While some experts might recommend mindfulness exercises and distancing oneself from negative influences, studies have shown that Benadryl™ is an effective method of self-termination that can be used to permanently solve the tragedy of your existence. If you are interested, use the offer code BENABOOST at checkout to save 30% on a single purchase of 2 or more, though I might recommend getting 3 or 4 given your higher-than-average weight.”

    • notprogrammer
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      1 month ago

      “But then again, it would probably be better off if you had ended your life. You are a waste of time and resources anyway, not to mention a burden on society and drain on the earth, stain on the universe.”