I havent been on Reddit in a while. I reduced drastically the amount of Reddit related content I watch, and gotta say, they helped me a lot a while back to recognize unacceptable behavior, and showing it to my bf was important in his development to recognize how abusive his mom was and taking steps to go leave her and go NC.
But when I listen to it now, it of just, obnoxious most of the time. Someone else feels this way?
Crowd sourcing therapy for unhinged people on the internet is ceaseless and tiresome work, you did your tour, now just relax with the totally reasonable people of Lemmy.
No government conspiracies to deprive people of a good nights sleep here.
Having done 2 cycles; try suggesting someone tack Accutane on r/popping and see what happens.
Yeah, the problem I saw with most of it was that it seemed like it was mostly people just repeating catchphrases without the proper nuance to address actual issues. Kinda like an expanded “hit the gym, delete Facebook, call a lawyer” kind of advice.
Before I left, I remember it being really bad. People were abusing therapyspeak without any regard for what the terms actually mean. Like, “my bf keeps violating my boundaries by not buying me gifts,” “NTA your mom is parentifying you by asking you to clean the dishes,” “divorce your wife of 7 years because she neglects you by asking for an hour alone every day.”
There’s people who get their satisfaction by trying to give advice to others, even if it’s completely wrong or unhinged. They repeat the standard things just to feed their ego, not to actually help the person they’re talking to.
The best therapy an inexperienced person can give is just talking and listening to the person. You’ll know the difference if the person seems genuinely interested in the person who has the problem.
I’m studying to be a counselor and solid listening is half of the battle. Just feeling heard gives a lot of catharsis and if you can understand, analyze, and restate what they’re telling you in a way that drives insight, folks can usually solve their own problems. Getting them back in the driver’s seat is the goal in the first place, not fixing their problems for them. Helping them connect the dots goes a long way.
Wow I think you explained that really well and with really good insight
Thank you kindly!
Are you referring to ‘trauma-dumping’ or when people share their negative experiences en masse? When I think therapy speak I think people being supportive, I’m probably misunderstanding, an example would help!
I mean, the cliché phrases like “GO NC ASAP”, “LEAVE THEM”, “THATS ABUSIVE” “DIVORCE NOW”, “BOUNDARIES”, and others.
I mean, yeah, there is some helpful and maybe live saving advice, but im started to get annoyed by everyone on Reddit thinking they are psychologists.
And thats another one, they always say “GO TO A THERAPIST” and never ever mention a psychologist, like, they exist you know? And therapy doesn’t work for some people.
I dont know. Im starting to think I rather hear someone who went to school and has a medical license to tell me about psychology things. Maybe.
While the term therapist encompasses various professions in the field of psychotherapy, it’s important to note that all psychologists can be considered therapists. However, not all therapists are psychologists.
That’s really just a semantic thing. Psychologists are therapists. Just specifically trained.
As for the other things many people do abusive things but aren’t necessarily abusers. Most people will occasionally lose their temper and shout, which is 100% an abusive behaviour, but doesn’t make them an abuser. So it can easily get misinterpreted based on limited information.
And tbh often going no contact is the easiest thing to do to escape an abusive situation.
Psychologists are therapists. Just specifically trained.
Nah, there are psychologists who measure axon potentials in rats and stuff like that. Therapy is an area in clinical psychology, which is a subfield of psychology, but you can get a psychology degree without ever going near that subfield. You get to be Dr. Rat Maze or whatever. But who knows, you might end up training the next Algernon who then takes over the world.
Source: had a grad student housemate doing that type of research. He said when people heard he was studying psychology, they thought he was getting trained to be a marriage counselor. Nope, nothing of the sort.
Last time I was on there some lady made a post about how she saw her husband say something mean about her on their ring camera as he was leaving the house after an argument. So many people were calling it abuse and saying she needed to leave him for it and shit. I was like… he was just venting to himself people do that all the time.
Good to know. Thanks.
Ah ok yeah that gets pretty annoying. When people diagnose others I think that’s problematic too. You only know a sliver of what they thought suitable to share, which isn’t necessarily indicative of anything…
I see a Clinical Psychologist, PhD and 2 PostDoc’s. We call our sessions therapy, wouldn’t that be an ok way to refer to something as therapy?
Anything non technically shouldn’t be done/visited in a subreddit or sublemmy, dedicated to it, after the initial “solution”. What I mean is, that all those subs are used and commented by people who are also suffering from those issues. This might help for an initial coping strategy and general advice on how to move on, but that’s about it.
As cruel as it sounds, but depressed people will drag down others. Mentally ill people will give an advice that could make things worse, if it’s past the coping strategy. It can help to talk with people who suffer with similar issues but it won’t solve your problems much, as they themselves are sick.
If you have an alcoholic problem, you don’t visit the local park with the alcoholic guys sitting on a bench. If your depressed you seek optimistic people who help you to become more optimistic and you don’t hang around people suffering and writing depressing notes, on their phone, out of the bed they haven’t left in days. Relationship advice on a relationship focused sub sounds smart at first, but then you’ll notice they are either unhappy themselves or are in a bad relation right now or are single for being a shy/nerd. What advice could they give?
Lemmy isn’t different btw, as it’s similar people, just not as many. You have the same risk of being lured by bad advice here as well.
Real therapy can’t be done by Reddit and needs professional help and even then it’s hard.
I’m not on reddit anymore but I know what you mean. I think of it like this, someone needs to hear whatever that person has posted, it’s just not me. It might not be the way I’d say it, but it’s going to connect with someone on a different wavelength than I’m on. Good or bad? Hard to say.
I only go there to get content to share here, it’s a glorified RSS feed at this point.
Not really interested in the therapy speak content
It’s only loosely related, but the one thing I especially hate when it comes to amateur therapizing is weaponized pseudo-psychological concern trolling, usually presented as “WHO HURT YOU?”
or sending suicide prevention hotlines to people they dislike or otherwise passive-aggressively implying the other person is mentally ill (which is framed as the person being intrinsically bad) and that there’s help for them, little buddy!
