• supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz
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    1 day ago

    Rand Paul is just mad if scientists keep investigating someone is going to realize the only thing going on in his head is two hampsters boxing.

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    I’m guessing that rightwingers prefer this study.to be done on teenagers directly, making a steroid pumped teenager nightclub camp

    Hey, research is research

  • Contramuffin@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Here’s a fun game: describe your research/interest in a similar way that Fox/Republicans use to describe research. The more misleading it is from the actual research, the better.

    I’ll start: watch how tired mice get when they get sick

    (determine the mechanism of how microbial contact affects host circadian rhythms)

    • papertowels@lemmy.one
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      1 day ago

      My company costs the government billions each year for weapons that haven’t been used in nearly 80 years. Talk about inefficiency!

      Nukes and nuclear nonproliferation.

      Shout-out to republican department of energy head Rick Perry who wanted to get rid of the DOE thinking it was just solar panels and windmills. TEXAS MAN THINK GOVERNMENT ENERGY BAD.

    • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      My company charged the government billions of dollars for a camera that takes hours to take one photo.

    • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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      2 days ago

      Even that wasn’t quite clickbaity and broken enough.

      I studied whether we could operate dump trucks on mars.
      (Super hydraulic fluid based rover systems)

      My friend made moss in jars for air conditioning.
      (Super endothermic moss for cooling, oxygen and protein development in space)

      You gave mice the flu and asked them to sleep.

    • Sunoc@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      Is Skynet upon us? Communist robots now get to think faster with new brain!

      I’m researching heterogeneous cores embedded systems for robotics running open source software. ><

    • superkret@feddit.org
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      2 days ago

      I study how fast poison leaking into the ground is cleaned up by microbes, and how it’s possible to protect drinking water sources from that poison.

      I honestly don’t know how to phrase that so it sounds ridiculous or useless.

    • DeltaSMC@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Always nice to see a fellow circadian researcher in the wild. Be curious, be critical, and most of all, bmal!

    • CM400@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      You seriously (I’m dead serious) need to pitch this as a game show to Netflix.

  • Facebones@reddthat.com
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    2 days ago

    I look forward to watching the federal govt give 5mil to newly formed X Research to determine if Christianity should be taught in school as the one true religion.

  • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
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    2 days ago

    Why aren’t they televising it? They could fund the entire university. Heck, partner up with those sketchy betting apps and do studies on addiction

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      2 days ago

      Yeah this is fucking awesome, regardless of impact.

      I am, however, torn between the idea of roided up hamsters punching each other with boxing gloves and the knowledge of the reality that they probably just ate each other alive so after a certain point it was just animal abuse.

  • SkyNTP@lemmy.ml
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    2 days ago

    Unchecked misinformation and algorithmic control of people’s eyes and brains will be the collapse of civilization before climate change does us in.

  • TheFogan
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    2 days ago

    That seems to be so common of a theme in theirs… Testing narcotics on animals to make predictions of how they impact humans is constantly being used as a chilling and watching animals take drugs". The idea that there’s solutions to drug use that might be more effective than throw drug users into private prisons to do slave labor seems quite lost on these people.

  • ristoril_zip@lemmy.zip
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    2 days ago

    stuff like this I actually don’t mind.

    Someone had to look at these research papers - assuredly more than one - about (in this case) the effects of steroid abuse in teens. They had to understand the gist of that research. Then they had to create a pithy one liner that conveys that gist, albeit arguably dishonestly.

    That’s way better than “windmills cause cancer” or “migrants are eating pets.”

    I’m all for the trend of badly summarizing important clinical research, because we can correct that. At least we have a better chance of correcting that than pure lies.