• CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 days ago

    Now try finding someone you find attractive and who also finds you attractive in return (it’s impossible).

      • dingus@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        People say this all the time, but I’ve never really understood it. You can’t help who you are attracted to. Do a lot of people just have relationships with people they don’t find attractive?

        I don’t find like 99.9999% of people attractive. So I never really bothered attempting to date. I don’t blame people for it like an incel would…it’s just a slightly unfortunate thing that means I’m incompatible with other human beings. The few times I tried, it felt awkward and bad that I couldn’t reciprocate what the other person felt. It felt like lying and I’m not really sure what I was supposed to be getting out of something like that.

        Legitimately curious.

      • FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 day ago

        Give it time. Sometimes they can start out vanilla and warm to the idea of kinks through your relationship. Usually those kind of things aren’t set in stone.

    • flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      I did a calculation once about my chances of finding a compatible long-term partner, inspired by the Drake Equation and using many many assumptions. The numbers are not good: ~22 out of 8 billion.

      • Zron@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        As a married man, I gotta say you’re probably selling yourself short or have unrealistic expectations of a partner.

        Remember that whoever you’re going to date is a person, not a robot. People are not quantifiable. One day they may be a dick, the next they may be pleasant. Some people are willing to compromise and others aren’t. Man, woman, or other, it doesn’t matter. If you’re not willing to compromise something, you’re never going to find someone.

      • Atlas_@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        That seems absurdly low. Are you sure that all of your criteria are non-negotiable? And entirely uncorrelated?

        • flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
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          2 days ago

          Look I wasn’t completely serious about it, there’s no way to actually calculate something like that.
          For example what’s the fraction of people that find me attractive. It could range from 0.05 to 0.5. I have no way of knowing.

        • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 days ago

          I like reminding my single friends that 73% of Americans are considered overweight. 41% are obese.

          A shocking amount of my male friends are overweight or obese and refuse to date overweight women.

          • nomy@lemmy.zip
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            2 days ago

            We could all lose a few pounds but sharing a meal is a huge thing, take that thicc person out and enjoy meal with another human being you animals. You might even find you have some commonality and you’ll feel slightly less isolated when the meal is done.

      • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I only need to make 1 assumption to solve that equation for me

        0% of people would find me attractive

        QE fucking D