Many years ago, I watched a documentary where they interviewed prostitutes and those said that it genuinely happens a lot that dudes come to them and just want someone to talk. Some of the prostitutes were even like, fucking random strangers is less arduous than listening to a broken man lay out his life’s troubles. That still sticks with me…
I can see how it’s easier to fuck someone than to actively listen and (at least pretend to) empathize with them. It’s easier to go without the former than the latter, as well.
Even as a man, I don’t understand my fellow men’s aversion to seeking the ear of a licensed therapist/mental health professional. Cost is a concern, I get that. I have health insurance that covers it, so I don’t have to worry about that too much. So it’s gotta be something deeper. Like an aversion to confronting oneself? I understand that. Introspection can be frightening, especially if you’re encountering parts of your psyche you’d rather weren’t there. Or maybe there’s past trauma you’d rather not unpack. But a good therapist will be in your corner. They’ll be like the healer in an RPG party, dishing out buffs and heals for you, or maybe even inflict debuffs on your inner demons.
IMO There is a deep social stigma to seeking help in general, but mental health seems to be more pronounced in how it’s perceived as weakness.
You have the overt “be a man” kind of toxicity that exists but there is a more insidious undercurrent in some cultures as a whole that makes it seem equally unacceptable.
The insidious part is the subtlety and the inclusion that even talking about how you aren’t supposed to talk about it considered the same kind of weakness, making it self-reinforcing.
Many years ago, I watched a documentary where they interviewed prostitutes and those said that it genuinely happens a lot that dudes come to them and just want someone to talk. Some of the prostitutes were even like, fucking random strangers is less arduous than listening to a broken man lay out his life’s troubles. That still sticks with me…
I can see how it’s easier to fuck someone than to actively listen and (at least pretend to) empathize with them. It’s easier to go without the former than the latter, as well.
That was even a plot point in Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Prostitutes are cheaper than therapists in America.
Only because prostitutes don’t take insurance yet.
Even as a man, I don’t understand my fellow men’s aversion to seeking the ear of a licensed therapist/mental health professional. Cost is a concern, I get that. I have health insurance that covers it, so I don’t have to worry about that too much. So it’s gotta be something deeper. Like an aversion to confronting oneself? I understand that. Introspection can be frightening, especially if you’re encountering parts of your psyche you’d rather weren’t there. Or maybe there’s past trauma you’d rather not unpack. But a good therapist will be in your corner. They’ll be like the healer in an RPG party, dishing out buffs and heals for you, or maybe even inflict debuffs on your inner demons.
IMO There is a deep social stigma to seeking help in general, but mental health seems to be more pronounced in how it’s perceived as weakness.
You have the overt “be a man” kind of toxicity that exists but there is a more insidious undercurrent in some cultures as a whole that makes it seem equally unacceptable.
The insidious part is the subtlety and the inclusion that even talking about how you aren’t supposed to talk about it considered the same kind of weakness, making it self-reinforcing.