Phone number or other contact info. Supposing you’re on good terms, they’re not someone you’re interested in romantically or the like (so none of the anxiety from that at least), what’s kept you from asking?
Supposing that something has on occasion, anyway.
This was an issue for me when I was watching my then toddler son a lot as a father.
We would meet other parent-child combinations regularly at the places where you go with children. Most of the time it would be mothers.
But even though the settings were obviously non romantic and child focused, it often was difficult to get into a friendly relationship. I always had the impression the mothers were careful to not do anything I might interpret as flirting, including talking. So the interactions were limited to the now and then on the playground. No getting-to-know conversations.
Remarkably that was much simpler with the same women when the fathers were around also, I.e. on weekends.
In short it was a long series of strange encounters and isolation. It’s much simpler to interact with women without their children around, regardless if romantically motivated or just as factual interaction.
During the whole parenting time of 3 years I had with that child I made one(!) contact that I could message things like “wanna meet up in this or that interaction?” My wife has 15 or so.
Absolutely this!
As a dad, I was always extremely cautious when I was out with my kids talking to moms out with their kids. I also talk about the now, because I’m not trying to confuse anybody.
One of the more uncomfortable moments: my kid was playing and interacting with a child & parent. I said hello. She immediately took her kid and left the play area.
Another time: I must have been talking to a single mom because she kept asking me to be her 3 yo’s male role model multiple times.
I gave up trying to make friends with other parents at playground areas since then.
them mistaking that i’m interested in them romantically
I suppose my comment is the other side of that concern https://lemm.ee/comment/2976290
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If others act and assume similarly, this could create something of an isolation trap, couldn’t it?
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I’m like this too. I also don’t ask people to hang out because I don’t want to bother them and I don’t want to just assume they like me and want to do anything together. Yeah I don’t make friends that way and it can be lonely.
I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I got it, unless its work related. I barely even call my family without a good reason.
Because I don’t want to give away mine, and in this case it’s kinda expected.
It used to be fear of rejection. Nowadays I don’t care if I get rejected. That’s life.
I don’t like share my phone number because it means be vulnerable, give away something that can be used against you. That person can use it for spam calls and easily become a stalker without too much effort
Do relationships never reach a point where you might say this is a sane person that’s not going to abuse every vulnerability I open up?
I guess, probably because I am an easy target.
I’m sorry that you feel that way. But the vast majority of people are not predators.
I’m sorry that you feel that way. But the vast majority of people are not predators.
Lack of self confidence
If you’re having trouble building these networks, find a reason to have further contact. Follow up events, sharing a photographs, notification for the next event, follow-on event next weekend, have a discussion with somebody and say you’ll send them more information, many good reasons
Forgot to 😹
Negative responses. The last time I asked someone I thought I was becoming friends with she reacted almost offended and tried to find excuses why she wasn’t able to accept my email address (because I thought asking for her number would be a bit direct). We knew each other for almost two years back then and spent a lot of time walking our dogs together when we met by chance, laughed, exchanged issues we had with our lives etc. I really thought we could just casually meet for our dogs to play, but that reaction was… I don’t know, it did hurt quite a bit. Since then I’ve become even more reserved and try to avoid situations like these.
That’s unfortunate…It really can be hard to read when someone’s open to exchanging contact info of any kind sometimes. Some folks, easy as can be, others you think it may be and then you’ve tripped their brick walls without expecting it.
I am used to people not being interested so it never really occurs to me to ask AND it is 2023. There are so many other ways to communicate.
There’s so many ways of communicating nowadays. Phone number is so last century.
That’s fair, which is why I had this in the OP:
Phone number or other contact info.
I only wrote number as a shortform way of saying contact info, which is clunkier. Is there a better short way of writing, “asking someone’s [contact info]?”
Phone number is the contact point for messengers…
Not all of them.
Whenever I near such thoughts I lock up mentally especially because my awkward ass probably didn’t have much interesting to say in the first place.
The fact I ask for their Discord handle instead of their number, and possibly invite them to my server.
