(Post translated from russian)
I (age 13) have a friend, lisa (age 14). lisa is usually nice, but she has mood swings and anger issues.
these mood swings usually happen in sports, but not just sports.
lisa thinks she is better than everyone else and is not responsible for her actions/mistakes.
lisa doesn’t hit the volleyball over the net. instead she hits it behind her, but blames me for it because “i didn’t catch it”. she also expects people to do things for her so she can make fun of them.
She has made me cry a few times and yelled at me, insulting me and stuff, but only in sports. otherwise she’s mostly kind.
she often takes girls very seriously and won’t laugh at their jokes, but will laugh at similar jokes from boys. she often says “ahahahahahaha! you’re so funny!” whenever a boy says something.
I just find it weird, but my friend said: “she’s kind of like ‘pick me’”.
lisa often says all the girls are mean to her, so i sympathize with her.
lisa is serious and bossy and likes to tell me what to do (not rude).
is this bad ? should i try to help and how can i help ? why does my friend say lisa is being a “pick-me” ?
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Yes, it’s bad. Usually, with posts like this, you have to read it with a “okay, this is a biased perspective, what’s the real story underneath?” attitude. I.E. you woupd expect the OP to describe their friend in the best possible light, and toxic traits might be described in a very reasonable way.
You do not describe your friend in a reasonable way. You describe a very toxic person, outright. Perhaps you’re just better than most people at being unbiased (kudos, if so, but then I also have to assume you know full-well the answer to your question already). If not, the implication is that this is your “biased towards your friend” perspective, and the actual reality is far WORSE than you describe. This would also imply that you might have some issues of your own to work through, that you think the things you describe are normal friend behavior.
Either way, this person does NOT sound like a force for good in your life. Unfortunately, at your age, removing toxic people from your life is not going to be easy. For one, I’m guessing you go to school together, so you can’t just avoid her entirely. Your best bet is probably to just think about ways to minimize the time you spend with her, or at least alone with her, and increase the time you spend with other friends. I.E. don’t let yourself be dependent on her as your only friend.
Good luck, and props for seeking out advice on a problem like this.
Your friend is a terrible person. Get a better one.
Lisa is a mean girl for sure.
A pick me girl is “A woman who asserts that she is unlike (and sometimes better than) most other women, in order to gain attention, approval, or validation from men.”
Your friend is saying she is this because she only acts enthusiastic around men and thinks she’s better at sports than other women, making her “not like the other girls” because she’s athletic