• Sniatch@feddit.org
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    16 minutes ago

    Reading the comments make me feel like I’m reading 4chan. How are people getting triggered by that post

  • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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    4 hours ago

    lemmy.world mods finding out that they’ve cultivated a community of reddit incels:

    • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      This from a user on an instance that’s known for their open villification of any opinion that goes against the moscow and beijing dictated groupthi–

      Wait, wait hold on. Could it possibly be that we both have deeply subjective views of the other large instances, because humans fall to tribalism faster than a kitten on a sock full of catnip? Maybe there’s a vested interest on every side to keep the early adopters of a decentralized social media platform infighting over meaningless stereotypes based on the letters that come after their username, making value judgements based entirely on dictated preconceptions instead of experiential conclusions and honest interaction?

      … nah, probably not. And besides, it’s way more fun to just sling mud. Screw u, u commie scuzbucket.

      • Clodsire@lemmy.ml
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        2 hours ago

        This from a user on an instance that’s known for having a large amounts of transphobic, homophobic, misogynist and racists users and a mod team that doesnt do the bare minimun to deal with them

          • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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            1 hour ago

            because unfortunately lemmy.ml federates with lemmy.world. even if we were to block lemmy.world on an individual level, the toxicity and hate coming from it affects and influences users of other instances. better to push back against you dweebs whenever you try to incite misogynistic hate than just cover our ears and pretend you aren’t here fucking things up.

            • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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              1 hour ago

              Oh good, we agree then. There’s a certain necessity to engage with opinions counter to our own instead of pretending they don’t exist, even if it’s personally uncomfortable to do so.

              • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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                59 minutes ago

                i counter them out of necessity, but ideally i’d rather the lemmy.world admins do that since that’s supposed to be what they’re for.

                • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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                  44 minutes ago

                  So you’d prefer the admins allow you to pretend they don’t exist? I know that’s not what you’re trying to say, but its not an unreasonable extrapolation of your position from the comments you’re making. You feel the need to fight for what you believe in because it’s right to stand up for what you believe in, but you would rather you didn’t have to. I think that’s probably the most universally agreeable statement I’ve ever heard, sincerely. I would, too, like for this to be the case. We just disagree on how to achieve that happy state of affairs, though it’s nice that neither of us prefers a solution like “round up all the .ml/.world users in a big camp” unlike, you know, real world opinions…

      • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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        2 hours ago

        Could it possibly be that we both have deeply subjective views of the other large instances, because humans fall to tribalism faster than a kitten on a sock full of catnip?

        nope, it’s because your instance is operated by people who refuse to moderate disinformation under some naive belief that enough debate bro-ing is all it takes to defeat it, failing to understand that the effort it takes to proliferate hate and disinformation is much smaller than the effort it takes to refute it. as such, lemmy.world is becoming overrun with some of the most toxic motherfuckers on the entire platform because all the sane people are being driven away.

        • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          Ah, a blanket denial of everything I said. How glad I am that I’m above petty things like pointing out the comically stereotypical behavior of users from other instances. It’s nice up here, on the Mountain of Sarcastic Moral Superiority.

          As an actual counterpoint, the primary way that new users get onto lemmy is always going to have the highest concentration of toxic users. Society is, if you haven’t noticed, incredibly toxic. Commonly espoused ideas like trans people being human or civil rights being important aren’t commonly supported by society at large (source: the entire world right now). The easiest way for people who support those things to find their way to instances where those ideas are popularly held is to join the most popular instance and see both the need for other instances with heavier moderation, and what those instances are. How many people hear about blahaj or sh.itjust.works before signing up to lemmy, vs. sign up there as their second account? Personally, I’m pretty grateful that the most toxic opinions are largely self-segregated into a place where people aren’t required to interact with them. It’s less pleasant, sure, but it’s also the best place in the fediverse to get an accurate idea of what the real societal opinions are. And if it gets to be too much, I can always just flee .world (or .ml, I mean seriously guys) like a base coward and spend time under one of my alt accounts on a more heavily moderated instance like .blahaj instead.

          • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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            1 hour ago

            that isn’t necessarily true though: you don’t see other popular instances of fediverse platforms having these problems when they actually put effort into enforcing rules that protect the community and discourage disinformation and hate speech, and it doesn’t make them any less of a gateway for new users.

            the staff on lemmy.world promote disinformation, and that does not benefit any of us, especially when disinformation has a way of spreading that the separation of instances alone isn’t enough to prevent. most are still either directly federated to lemmy.world, or federated to instances that are federated to lemmy.world.

            toxicity itself isn’t inherent to society but a consequence of how our current society is set up, and social media platforms that deliberately proliferate disinformation play a role in that. if you want to actually counter hate and disinformation the first step you should take is to stop outright encouraging it and fight it at the source.

            also, implying people are cowards for wanting to flee your hate instance is despicable and privileged-ass take. fuck you.

            • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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              39 minutes ago

              also, implying people are cowards for wanting to flee your hate instance is despicable and privileged ass-take. fuck you.

              That was pretty clearly self deprecating. Who in the hell calls someone else a ‘base coward’, anyways? For that matter, who would even take seriously being called a base coward? I think you might genuinely be treating everyone else as hostile as a means of self defense, which while understandable is in itself incredibly (edit: exhausting is a much better term) to interact with.

              I have real comments here, along the lines of what you mean by promoting disinformation and the moderation standards you would prefer to see, because those are sincerely interesting. But come on, what’s the point in trying to have a discussion when you treat everything like an attack on you & yours? I’m not even trying to be hostile here.

              • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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                11 minutes ago

                it’s self-deprecating but has hostile implications toward the many users who really did leave to escape ill treatment toward them. marginalized people get enough of that in real life after all. i don’t think they should have to endure it at all, nor do i think it’s cowardly to want to avoid it. if i’m reading too much into this and that wasn’t your intention, i’m sorry. though i’m really not sure how else to interpret that.

                when i say lemmy.world promotes disinformation, i’m referring to their recent announcement that they would require community moderators to entertain disinformation in the name of having open debate. they redacted that announcement following the backlash if i recall correctly, but it is nonetheless reflective of how they have been moderating things on their instance, which is apparent in threads like this one that stir the pot and bring out all the rabid misogynists that have been tolerated and continue to be tolerated on here. the lack of moderation toward these things aligns with what they stated in that announcement, that these are ideas we should be open and fair to.

                the problem of course is that being open to disinformation alienates the marginalized people affected by it, harms the people who would be deceived by it, and only serves to benefit the people who would spread it. it’s a lot easier to fight disinformation and bigotry by stopping it at the source rather than letting it fester and then trying to take it down with debate. we all know how difficult it is to argue in good faith against those arguing in bad faith. it takes no time and no effort to just make something up, but more time and effort than most people even have the energy to give to refute it with fact-based evidence.

                we’re in the midst of a social crisis with the rise of the incel movement and MRA influencers. those who follow these things are more emotionally invested in them than logically, and near impossible to get through to. you might be able to convince a few undecided readers if you put sufficient effort into your replies, but ultimately the spread of these movements are much faster than the handful of individuals who make an effort to stand against them. a lot of us just don’t even have the time. we need support from those who are in the position to actually take preventive measures against them.

  • houstoneulers@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    Yikes. Someone makes a gender based overgeneralization when overwhelming evidence (look at crime stats) proves it incorrect, and those that dare to defend that group get attacked.

    Bigotry is bigotry. If you hate a group purely based on their superficial membership, then you are bigoted.

    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bigot#:~:text=noun,group)%20with%20hatred%20and%20intolerance

    The strongest argument you have is when you compare violence perpetrated by gender. But even then, that doesn’t support your argument that all men are evil in some way. And at such low numbers, it’s disingenuous deflection b/c even the two summed up don’t account for even 1% of the population. Sad that so many of you have brain rot.

    • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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      41 minutes ago

      does the post say “all men are murderers”? no, it doesn’t. it is however true that a disproportionate amount of men are murderers, especially compared to women, the number of whom that are murderers of men or other women are so statistically low compared to men that it isn’t even worthy of consideration.

      men, generally, are far more likely to commit acts of violence than women. and the number of men who do, while not the majority, is high enough for women to be afraid of men in general.

      under our existing patriarchal social conditions, men are murderers. they’re more inclined to violence and present a higher risk than women. saying “men are murderers” doesn’t mean “all men including you are murderers” it simply means that the threat is near entirely comprised of men. you should also be aware that we also don’t think that this is inherent to being a man but a manifestation of social conditioning under patriarchy that encourages such behavior in men.

      • houstoneulers@lemmy.world
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        34 minutes ago

        lol, i literally point out how your retort is flawed, and you bull head through it anyways.

        What’s funny but somehow escapes the terminal basement dwellers is that the majority of productive women do not worry about this b/c they understand how stats work. But bigots are never smart enough to even understand basic stats.

        • _lunar@lemmy.ml
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          2 minutes ago

          you didn’t cite any actual statistics, meanwhile throughout this thread people have been citing stats that prove you wrong. violent crime between men and women is not equal, and women are disproportionately victimized by it and men disproportionately cause it.

          and yes, i’m fully aware these statistics compare violence by gender. no one is saying that because the majority of violent crime is committed by men, that the majority of men are violent criminals. you’re being obtuse and missing the point on purpose.

          with that said, the number of women in total affected by violence, sexual violence especially. is indeed high anyway even if it isn’t all men, it happens enough that all women have to live in fear.

    • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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      3 hours ago

      Woman: “I and every woman I know have had some really bad experiences with men”

      This dude: “Actually, you’ve had bad experiences with a small minority of men. Why do you hate all men?”

      • GaMEChld@lemmy.world
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        40 minutes ago

        And of course your common sense take is getting downvoted. (Edit was -2 when I posted). They should get the bears to protect them.

  • sumguyonline@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    Bitch wouldn’t be so scared if she had mad bo staff skills… Napoleon tried to show ya’ll, but everyone just laughed… Tina you fat lard come and get some dinner!

  • Majorllama@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    What and guys aren’t worried about being murdered by other dudes at night? Lol

    https://www.victimsweek.gc.ca/res/r512.html#:~:text=In that year%2C men were,a weapon used against them.&text=Young men under the age,-corporate area)%20than%20women.

    Statistically men are more likely to be attacked, robbed, sexually assaulted (in a public institution) and shot than women.

    https://www.statista.com/statistics/1388777/murder-victims-in-the-us-by-gender/#:~:text=In 2023%2C the FBI reported,female in the United States.

    Men are more likely to be murdered in general.

    https://www.statista.com/statistics/423245/us-violent-crime-victims-by-gender/

    Violent crimes happen to men more than women on average.

    I am a HUGE advocate for women staying safe. I think more women need to purchase and properly learn how to use a personal high speed lead slinging device.

    HOWEVER I do not care for this claim that women are always the victims. Statistically they aren’t more frequently attacked or murdered. In fact they are slightly less likely to be victims. Bad people are gonna do bad things and everyone should learn to protect themselves against those bad people.

    DOUBLE HOWEVER Men are overwhelming the perpetrator of violent crimes against everyone. More than 75% of violent crimes is committed by men.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.statista.com/chart/amp/33058/victims-and-perpetrators-of-reported-violent-crime-in-the-us-by-reported-sex/

    At the end of the day everyone should stay safe. Keep your head on a swivel. Obtain and learn how to use a personal defense tool. Be smart.

    • MataVatnik@lemmy.world
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      1 hour ago

      I routinely would go on long walks at all hours of the night (like 3am), with headphones on. Ive done this in the US, Brazil, and Europe in all kinds of neighborhoods. I was a 180lb male and I somewhat consciously and subconsciously would put on the lunatic vibe of “I am the one who knocks”.

      Now I started my transition, down to 150 lbs, dressing more feminine. Still have a decent amount of muscle but Truuust me, the vibe is not the same. This meme is valid.

    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      I do not care for this claim that women are always the victims.

      who said this?

      honest query. I don’t see it in OP’s statement. You do corroborate their premise -

      Men are overwhelming the perpetrator of violent crimes against everyone. More than 75% of violent crimes is committed by men.

      so why the strawman argument at the start?

    • lazyViking@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      You write like you are disagreeing with something in this post, in your own small pathetic way. But I fail to see what part of the post you are disagreeing with

    • JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      I wonder if the murder rates are skewed by organized crime/gangs. That has a male skewed gender ratio and high murder rates.

      • doingthestuff@lemy.lol
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        6 hours ago

        Gangs drive murder rates. Looking at areas in the US without gang activity, the murder rate is almost as low anywhere else in the world.

      • Majorllama@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Almost certainly.

        Unfortunately it’s very difficult to pull apart big data sets accurately. It’s difficult to pin down what murders are for sure gang related and which ones aren’t. Obviously there are some situations where it’s very clear, but some where it is not. Where you draw that line changes things significantly.

        • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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          3 hours ago

          Unfortunately it’s very difficult to pull apart big data sets accurately

          The actual fuck? It’s significantly easier to pull apart large data sets, especially to answer demographic questions like this. This is literally Data Science 101, you’re just making shit up!

        • LandedGentry@lemmy.zip
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          7 hours ago

          almost certainly

          This does not jive with the tenor of your first comment which tries to equate violence against women with violence against men.

          • Soulg@sh.itjust.works
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            6 hours ago

            Did we read the same comment? He was pointing out statistics around males, not downplaying the statistics around women.

            • LandedGentry@lemmy.zip
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              6 hours ago

              Isn’t it interesting how whenever women come up someone has to rush to point out men as victims, as if to talk about women detracts from that?

              Curious.

          • WagyuSneakers@lemmy.world
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            7 hours ago

            He’s just making stuff up anyway. It’s not difficult to pull apart those data sets. The information is readily available. It just doesn’t show the first thing that came out of his mouth is correct.

    • GlenRambo@jlai.lu
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      10 hours ago

      So of the photo was of a man, bit with the same text it would be ok. Right? Both you, me, and the woman in the photo agree that men are the problem.

      “Not all men” agreed, but enough to men to make others afraid.

      • xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works
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        3 hours ago

        True. The caption doesn’t imply any gender for the potential victim, it just happened the original poster is female.

        If they have to post any statistics at all, it should only be about the criminal, which they did but with a Google AMP link grrrrrrr

    • troglodytis@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      Wow. That is a whole lot of getting your undies in a wad over a meme that does NOT exclude any gender feeling this way.

      You brought a bunch of bias to this one. Might want to look into why that is

    • shaserlark@sh.itjust.works
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      10 hours ago

      There are shittons of rape & murder fantasy communities with secretly taken & stolen pictures on porn & snuff websites, on the snuff websites there’s unfortunately also real stuff.

      This is something I really didn’t want to know. I wouldn’t want to walk in the shoes of my gf honestly just judging from the amount of harassment she faces in liberal, progressive western cities by men of all age & skin color (need to say this nowadays unfortunately). Add to that being physically inferior that creates a sense of being constantly threatened. Also, they are targeted specifically because they are women and femicide is a real, bad issue.

      Not disagreeing that anyone could be affected, just saying I can easily walk at night because no one would target me specifically for being a man.

      • Majorllama@lemmy.world
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        9 hours ago

        Clearly you’ve never been jumped lol. It’ll give you a whole new perspective on the world and walking around alone as a guy.

        I find it gross that you referred to your own girlfriend as “physically inferior”. I think the better term is physically at a disadvantage.

        • shaserlark@sh.itjust.works
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          9 hours ago

          Since you’re talking to a complete stranger on an anonymous platform it makes no sense to make any assumptions like that.

          English is not my first language, in case that was an offensive formulation I apologize.

          But your response definitely makes me question your intentions.

          • Majorllama@lemmy.world
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            8 hours ago

            I apologizing for assuming. You said something along the lines of “nobody would jump be just because I’m a man” which tells me you haven’t been assaulted by random guys before in your life. They absolutely will jump you for no reason regardless of your gender. I posted those exact statistics in my first comment.

            And the word “inferior” has a negative connotation connected to it. You usually use it to describe something that is worse in every way. For example: “I only use zip lock bags because other plastic resealable bag brands are all inferior”.

            Your comment about your girlfriend taken at face value came across very sexist. Which is all we can do without knowing someone, how was I supposed to know English is your second language? You use better punctuation than me and it’s the only language I know lol.

            • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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              3 hours ago

              no one would target me specifically for being a man

              I think you’ve misunderstood. The commenter is not saying that random attacks don’t happen to men, that’s obviously true. But those attacks won’t target you specifically because you are male, which is an additional justification for violence that women have to deal with. I’d argue it’s even more common than women being targeted randomly - or even that random muggings/assaults are actually random. I mean, who’s jumping people that they think are a threat?

  • Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    I blame women.

    For not murdering enough. The streets would be safer if men had the same fear.

  • dumbass@leminal.space
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    16 hours ago

    I wouldn’t say I love murdering, but it is a neat little hobby to pass the time.

  • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    This also depends on what kind of roads you have to walk on - highways suck for nighttime walks, because not only are you constantly on edge to try not to get run over, you also need to walk for miles to get anywhere.

    Suburbs are nicer, but the best is to walk in a park, but that raises your chances of getting murdered by a lot so idk

    I don’t know where I was going with this. I lost my train of thought.

    • GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml
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      7 hours ago

      but the best is to walk in a park, but that raises your chances of getting murdered by a lot so idk

      Is this a vibes-based take of do you actually have any stats on the matter?

      Fwiw, the best is hands down a walk in a still kind of crowded city center. Few things bring as much security as eyes on the street

    • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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      15 hours ago

      Easy solution: bring a bear. Much less chance of being murdered, and the bear gets to shit in the woods. Well, park, but close enough.

      • RandAlThor@lemmy.ca
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        14 hours ago

        Easy solution: live in a safe country! We have no fears of night walks in Canada.

        • BetaBlake@lemmy.world
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          12 hours ago

          In all of Canada? Every city? All of Toronto and Vancouver? Wow I’m impressed that rape, murder and assault never happen there.

          • RandAlThor@lemmy.ca
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            9 hours ago

            Compared to the US, yes it is much much safer here. I would be scared to walk late night downtown ANYWHERE in US cities. Here, that’s never been a problem.

            • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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              8 hours ago

              I’m going out on a limb and saying you’re not a woman. There’s no place on earth I could say I’d never feel unsafe walking alone at night. Although I’m less nervous in my own neighborhood in Los Angeles, just because it’s familiar.

              I did delve into your history to check before I spoke. I now know a lot more about Myanmar, (which was fascinating and took me so far back into your posts as to get creepy, my apologies ) and the NFL, and btw you’re doing great at adding content to Lemmy, but the only posts about women’s issues were the Toronto Tempo and one about abortion pill access that’s consistent with your sound views on the present shithole US administration, and you didn’t add any personal comments to.

              • RandAlThor@lemmy.ca
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                7 hours ago

                That’s kinda creepy. I don’t have to go out on a limb to say you’ve never been to Canada while I’ve been to the biggest cities in the US. I live in Toronto. While I am a man I know a lot of women in my life who walk at night DOWNTOWN. And nobody would tell them they are insane to do that. It’s not an issue here. It behooves me that you all assume the world is like the US. It isn’t. Yes there are bad places to not walk at night - certain ghettos for instance, or a certain small city in the prairies with a reputation. The large ones - Toronto, Vancouver, Montreal in most parts are safe for both genders. Come and visit us sometime. Summer is better.

                • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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                  3 hours ago

                  I have been to Canada twice, Quebec and Toronto, and I wouldn’t walk alone at night in either.

                  Edit: I guess I would if I absolutely HAD to, but I’d be uncomfortable as fuck about it. And I wonder if your female friends are as casual about it as you believe.

        • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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          11 hours ago

          The 184 murdered Canadian women of 2024 might disagree with you. Especially Indigenous women, 24% of the total. Of course some were murdered by their husbands/partners, probably not out walking, but the majority were killed by strangers or mere acquaintances.

          • RandAlThor@lemmy.ca
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            9 hours ago

            This comment isn’t about violence against women comment. This is about safety of walking at night in cities. So just because I say it’s much safer to walk at night in Canada DOES NOT MEAN I AM DENYING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN DOESN’T EXIST. Sheesh the logic of some.

    • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      My suburb neighborhood is filled with walkers and it is super unsafe at night. They decided when they built it that they didn’t want to to create and maintain sidewalks and street lamps, so people always walk in the road and the only lights are the lamp posts at the end of people’s driveways. And almost nobody wears reflectives, or carries lights or anything on their person. Particularly when you’re blinded by an oncoming car’s lights, it’s nearly impossible to see people until you’re right up on them.

      • Tangent5280@lemmy.world
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        16 hours ago

        It’s so stupid and shortsighted. Living environments are not just the inside of our homes - it includes the outside, the neighbourhood, and the options you have to travel in and out of there. All of this together decide your quality of life inside your home.

        • Seleni@lemmy.world
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          14 hours ago

          Don’t for a second think it’s by accident. This was done to make areas less accessible to ‘undesirables’. After builders and realtors were told to stop forcing PoC into specific areas, they just went ahead and built suburbs that you basically had to have a car to access, ensuring poorer people were kept out.

    • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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      13 hours ago

      You’ll be fine if you just keep away from Assault Av., Murder Blvd., Rape roundabout and Stabbing St.

      /S

  • sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works
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    17 hours ago

    Gross to me that multiple comments here are ignoring this reality. Crimes committed by men against women in situations like that are so common that women aren’t protecting themselves unless they consider every unfamiliar man a potential threat.

    Obviously women can also commit crimes against men, but its so much less common that I don’t have to take precautions to protect myself against them.

    As a man it kind of sucks when you are assumed to be dangerous even when you aren’t, but you need to get over it. Its not worth it for women to compromise their safety, and assume you to not be a threat just to make you feel better.

    • IndieGoblin@lemmy.4d2.org
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      10 hours ago

      Is it really common though? Looking at the generalized US stats its seems that 95%+ of women murdered are by a person they know. Where as for men that stat is 78%. Its pretty rare to get murdered let alone murdered outside on the street. Most* people fear strangers because of news events not because of likelihood.

      Random murders just aren’t common and random women murders are even less common. Even rape and sexual assault the stats of random attacks on the street are very low. https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/explorer/crime/crime-trend

      This is for the US, I’d expect it to be far lower for most other countries.

      • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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        8 hours ago

        I just want to know how these figures would change in case women were to change their behavior and start going out for late night walks.

        I think part of the reason we see these numbers instead is due to women’s apprehensivess in the first place, but I could be wrong.

        • Donkter@lemmy.world
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          3 hours ago

          I mean the honest reaction is if someone wants to stay home to not get murdered. Fine, I couldn’t care less and it’s stupid for me to have an opinion on that, you live your life.

          But it’s a sort of catch 22 that you’ll only go outside if you can be sure the figures won’t change significantly and the only way to see if the figures change is to try going outside.

          • Warl0k3@lemmy.world
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            3 hours ago

            Isn’t that kind of the point, that it’s an inherently broken situation?

            • Donkter@lemmy.world
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              40 minutes ago

              Yeah, but what’s the point? Technically you can avoid all murder if you stay at home in your bathtub all day and never leave the house.

        • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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          6 hours ago

          Hard to say. I see women out walking alone at night all the time in my city, at least a handful just past my house every evening. (It’s a university town.) I passed one woman happily chatting on her phone, and oblivious to the world, while riding home tonight after dark. The last time anyone was attacked by a stranger was, I dunno? It definitely happens, but it’s years between instances. They’d probably be safer in the late night hours, with hardly any car traffic. A lot more people get killed by cars.

    • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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      15 hours ago

      Crimes committed by random strangers against women are practically non-existent. Women absolutely need to fear their creepy neighbors or angry ex, as people they know are the actual risks.

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOPM
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      17 hours ago

      Obviously women can also commit crimes against men, but its so much less common that I don’t have to take precautions to protect myself against them.

      Yeah, I’ve never had second-thoughts about walking past some dangerous-looking women or checking over my shoulder to make sure some woman isn’t following me home. This is a regular thing that women deal with, and pretending that the experiences are anywhere close to equivalent is odd.

      • Obinice@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        You don’t live in a very dangerous area, then.

        I keep an eye on everyone, even a woman with a kid in a pram (assuming the pram isn’t just an empty decoy) could try to mug you, people get desperate and chavs get violent. Always keep your head on a swivel, don’t trust anyone at face value just because of their gender or what they look like.

        • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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          8 hours ago

          I live near one of those areas. And while I’m weary of some shady women, it’s quite a common trend that women get creative and men get brutish.

          I’m more worried that the woman may pickpocket or deceive me first way, way before she pulls a weapon out on me.

          It’s not enough to point at a dangerous place and be like “see how bad people are?” but you also need to be be granular and observe the trends in behavior.

          That said, I have been warned of a gang of three men and one woman who have been accused of mugging folks in the neighborhood. But even that is rare to hear. Will it ever be three women and one man?

          Edit to fix autocorrect.

      • SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world
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        16 hours ago

        It’s dark and night, how can you tell gender?

        People are afraid of anything in these situations, but they justify it by using men as an excuse, even though, you wouldn’t tell it’s man or women, until it’s too late anyways….

        • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          12 hours ago

          It is not an “excuse.” If I’m attacked by a man at night, I will have a more difficult time protecting myself than if a man was attacked at night, on average. Not to mention that you have to ask yourself, what is the attacker after? Because being sexually assaulted or raped is so personal and awful that it’s natural to have a higher amount of fear of that outcome.

          Like how if you were equally likely of being jumped at night by a stranger as you were of being abducted and having spiky metal spears shoved in your urethra… you might recognize that’s it’s not super likely you’ll get jumped, but you would be way less likely to risk it since the fact that sounding is just too awful to chance (for the vast majority of the population).

          Also… my sample size is too small to be statistically relevant, but 100% of the men I know are sure they could “take” a random female attacker.

          Unrelated; asking that question was difficult but not for the reason I expected. It was like a game! “Do I have super powers in this scenario?” “Is she armed? Am I armed?” “How much time do I have to prepare?” And my personal favorite, from a particularly well-traveled friend- “Is she like a random person, or one of my exes?”

          Edit: The last guy has crunched the numbers and decided he could take all of his exes, unless they team up, which he thinks is unlikely, so I’m continuing to count that toward the 100%.

          • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            4 hours ago

            100% of the men I know are sure they could “take” a random female attacker.

            Until she’s your roommate’s girlfriend, he’s out of town, she comes into your room when you get home at 4am off a 12hr shift dishwashing when all you want in the world is food, to pet your cats, and to sleep until 2057, and forces herself on you complete with grabbing your wrists and the phrase “no you don’t understand, this is going to happen,” and then you realize that while yeah you probably could use physical violence to stop her even though she’s actually bigger than you, legally even, who are the police going to believe? You, or the crying woman who knows she can weaponize the entire justice system which doesn’t even consider it rape for her to do that (it’s legally defined as “sexual assault” at worst since “rape requires penetration” so woman can’t be charged with rape in my area)? I guess this is happening and I’m going to feel guilty about it for years even though I shouldn’t, fucking cool.

            Violence and rape is more likely to come from someone you know than randos on the street, and ime while women who wish to victimize people don’t have the upper hand in physical stature, the ones so inclined know how to weaponize the justice system effectively enough to get what they want.

            And btw if a woman is randomly attacking people on the street meth is usually involved, they shouldn’t be so confident.

        • 1984@lemmy.today
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          15 hours ago

          I can easily see if it’s a women or a man just based on how they move from a distance.

          I guess it depends on how dark it is. If it’s pitch black, nobody can see, but usually you have some shape you can see.

    • spujb@lemmy.cafe
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      13 hours ago

      you dont need my validation but here it is anyway, thanks for being cool and normal about things so serious as this :)

    • Psionicsickness@reddthat.com
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      16 hours ago

      As a man it kind of sucks when you are assumed to be dangerous

      Sorry I didn’t assume you were a pussy. My mistake.

    • argon@lemmy.today
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      16 hours ago

      Women are murdered less often than men. It’s simply irrational for women to be more afraid of being murdered than men are.

      • 1984@lemmy.today
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        15 hours ago

        Haha… You may be right about how often it happens, but no woman is going to feel safe because it rarely happens. Women can get kidnapped or beaten up or raped too… It’s not a safe world.

        It’s not a safe world for guys either but at least we are built to take a few punches without breaking an arm.