The lawsuit specifically cites X’s “innovative approaches to human rights optional features” as making Nestlé’s own business practices appear “practically philanthropic.” Internal surveys show that after viewing X’s content moderation policies, 68% of consumers described Nestlé’s infant formula controversy as “practically heartwarming” and their water extraction policies as “basically a public service.”

The 420-page lawsuit repeatedly emphasizes X’s “unfair acceleration of ethical decline,” and includes a desperate plea to hire X’s PR team “to maintain competitive awfulness in an increasingly dystopian marketplace.”

The fact that you can only tell it’s not true due to the source speaks volumes 🤣

It always was extremely unlikely, a molecule in a universe chance kind of unlikely, but it has happened: go Nestlé, fuck over the Xitter till it dies in a lot of pain.
Edit: crap, it was too good to be true hahaha *sniffff

Boo. I was really hoping this was real.