But I understand that it is a mature decision to vote who you see as the lesser evil with a chance.

Idk if I’m having a stroke, or you are - but this sentence makes no sense to me - though I think I can guess at your point from context, and I broadly agree - at least up until the point that you claim that voting for the “lesser evil” exonerates you of any responsibility for the actions of the party you voted for.

No, not at all? If I am one of two plumbers in a town and someone randomly kills the other plumber I profit from that, but I have 0 responsibility for the murder

Except in that example, you didn’t help give power to the murderer, whereas for the actions of our government, we do.

There is some responsibility, but not exactly the same as if you were a perpetrator yourself.

Not exactly the same, no - I agree. I the same way that if you came across an ongoing hate crime on the street and cheered on the perpetrator you wouldn’t bear the same responsibility as the actual perpetrator, but it still makes you evil in my opinion.

Most people are not utilitarian, or at least I hope they aren’t.

I disagree, I think most people’s natural approach to ethics (when they bother with it at all) is to compare the net harm vs the net good of the action their trying to weigh. That’s literally how we teach children the difference between right and wrong - we ask them to consider the consequences of their actions, and whether those consequences are good or bad).

Either way - I think it’s clear you’re not changing your mind on this, and I’m just repeating myself, so unless you have some novel point to raise I’m done arguing about it. Feel free to continue to distance your decisions with their consequences for others if you prefer (lord knows most people do, unless those consequences are bad for themselves)