I’m looking for a job. I saw Alice works at ACME brick. Bob knows Alice. Bob and I used to work together. I asked Bob if he could introduce me to Alice so I can ask Alice 1) for help getting in touch with the hiring manager and 2) what the company culture is like. Bob said yes and I asked Alice my questions, with Bob CC’ed in the message.

This has seemed OK with most people. However Bob said my conversation with Alice seemed one sided and excessive and like I was taking advantage of him just to get to the hiring manager. I am, correctly, asking for help getting to the hiring manager, for inside info. I am not only asking that, but it is part of what I’m asking. I am also asking about company culture and advice when talking to the interviewer. Bob was very upset and I think I’ve burned that bridge.

Is this wrong, in general? Is it OK but not asking too often? Most people seemed to be OK with it, but I worry they were just being polite and I’ve been unknowingly pissing off my entire social life and hurting my chances at getting a job. (why yes, I do have anxiety and take meds.)

  • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.eeOPEnglish
    3·
    23 hours ago

    I would have probably thanked Bob and dropped him from the email before asking Alice questions.

    I usually do this. I even said that directly. “I don’t wanna clog up Bob’s inbox, so can we talk directly?” Alice didn’t accept direct communication, though, and replied via CC, so I went with it. Oh well.

    • Vanth@reddthat.comEnglish
      1·
      15 hours ago

      Hindsight is 20:20. Regardless, I think Bob is overreacting, assuming your email to Alice was in the range of what I personally would write and nothing you said was sparking red flags to me l.