My son will be 13 months on the 16th. This evening has been particularly rough. It started with my pom escaping the fence during dinner. So I had to interrupt my son eating and go collect my dog. Then he decided he didn’t want to finish eating or basically even start eating. I put him in the bath since that always helps. It helped until I took him out.

So I was trying to get him dressed for bed since he was just absolutely tired. Well while wrestling him to get a diaper on. He keeps alligator rolling. I just snapped and yelled at him. But he was so focused on his own screaming that he didn’t even flinch.

I feel like a failure. After that I finally succeeded in getting a diaper on him then. Tried to nurse him to sleep like we usually do. NOPE. continued to scream and fight sleep. After about 10 minutes, I gave up and just put him in the crib. He fought sleep for another 5 minutes then crashed.

Earlier I checked him for a fever or anything physical that needed medical attention. He was just exhausted 😞

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    31·
    20 hours ago

    Oh damn.

    The story you just told paints a totally different picture than the title.

    From the title, I was expecting to hear you were shooting up instead of taking care of them, or trying to stay drunk and dropping them or something.

    But what happened was a stressed out human being very human and doing something every parent has done: yelled during times of frustration. Wait until he’s a teenager, and holy shit, you’ll be yelling even more, even if you manage to do it into a pillow so it doesn’t give you a headache.

    No bullshit, I have done neonatal care a handful of times, and pediatric a few dozen that included kids under 2.

    Preverbal kids that are tired and pissy would drive the pope to smoke a blunt. Their screams are supposedly developed by evolution to rip right through our skulls so we can hear them At a distance, and have a visceral response that drives us to action.

    How the fuck would you not reach a point where you scream too? You can’t always step away for an emotional break, and you don’t have the luxury I had when taking care of babies on the job: knowing the shift is going to end.

    Even away from work, babysitting family, the knowledge that it has an end point is such a safety valve when a baby is sick or hungry or tired and mad about it.

    An actual mom or dad? That’s brutal, and the first few years when sweetening screaming is all they can really do to express their needs, that’s Cannibal Corpse levels of brutality.

    You didn’t fail, you climbed the fucking mountain and planted your flag.

    I’m not just playing being supportive because it’s what people are supposed to do. Genuinely, you had a hard fucking day and got through it with your baby in bed, sleeping, healthy, and even managed to get the little bugger dressed. And all you did was scream a little? Lady, I don’t know you, but I’d hug your neck and brag about how well you did if I was there.

    13 months of one of the most stressful, exhausting things a human can do, and you yelled a little? That’s beast mode. I’d worry if you didn’t have the need to let out stress with a scream, or a good cry, or pacing a hole in the carpet, or something. Babies are hard, even when they’re on the easy side of things. An easy baby is still harder than most things anyone will do in life.

    I’ve sat with people, holding their hands when they drew their last breath, and taking care of babies is harder. I’ve had adults shit on my head on purpose, and babies are harder. And every single baby I’ve taken care of, I got to hand off to someone else and could have just refused to go back.

    Nah, you aren’t a horrible mother. You’re human, and you handled your shit in an appropriate and efficient manner.