Granted. A moon pops into existance, orbiting Luna, and is tidally locked to it, causing Luna to start rotating. Your admiration of the new celestial setup is short lived as you notice that, over the course of a couple of orbits, Earth’s gravity peturbs this new moon’s orbit, causing the apogee to get closer to Earth. Shortly the orbit reaches a chaotic tipping point, and it is ripped out of the gravity well of Luna and into the clutches of Earth’s attraction.

The gravitational effects of a body thus large approaching Earth are catastrophic, monsterous tides obliterate costal regions and flow deep inland. Earthquakes and volcanoes errupt worldwide as the crust is sundered at every weak point. Hurricane force winds, unlike any before, scour the surface of the planet.

The new orbit is wildly unstable, and the new moon, now christened Armageddon by those who have survived so far, starts to graze the upper atmosphere at it’s perigree. The compression heating caused by such a large bidy rapidly raises the air temperature and wildfires break out everwhere that isn’t saturated by flooding. Those areas that are soon dry out and join the conflagration. The polar ragions are the last surface areas to succumb, the ice holding the air temperature just within survivable levels until it too flashes to steam, and the last of the surface dwelling creatures of planet Earth perish.

The oceans start to boil under the intense heating of Armageddon’s atmospheric entry. The last to die there are the extremophiles that make their homes around hydrothermal vents, but even they cannot survuve the waters boiling away.

Atmospheric drag hastens the decay of Armageddon’s orbit, and it plows into the surface of what was, until quite recently, the green and blue marble we called home. The inital blow is a glancing one, barely gouging the surface, but shattering the crust of both the Earth and Armageddon itself. The bulk of the sundered rocks, now molten, make a fraction of an orbit before crashing back down, obliterating what is left of the surface.

The planet is now a shattered ball of molten rock, lifeless and featureless. However, not all life has perished. By some quirk of fortune and orbital mechanics the International Space Station was on the opposite side of the planet when Armegeddon plunged into the crust, and was not obliterated by the ensuing explosion of rick and debris. The inhabitants of that little outpost watch in horrified fascination as the planet they orbit is scoured of all life, it’s very face now a molten hellscape. The extea mass of Armageddon has disrupted their orbit too, and they now face the prospect of being thrown clear of Earth’s orbit, to freeze in the blackness of space.

Granted. The official name of it will be Moon Moon.
It will also become a popular baby name.

Granted.

The moons orbit, now a dual axis affair with significantly larger mass, immediately destabilizes and begins to elliptically slingshot out of Earth’s orbit.

The larger mass of the “apparent moon” at the center of this dual axis orbit approaches closer to the earth than ever in the last 4 billion years during it’s apoapse and wanders much further away during it’s periapse. This significantly larger shift in gravity leads to extended periods where the tides go quiet and then suddenly the tides surge and retreat to many times their current height on one side of the world, and drop to the seafloor on the opposite, scouring coral reefs, tidal plains, and coastal cities alike.

This new surging tidal force accelerates the melting of the polar ice caps and destabilizes the upturning oceanic currents, massively accelerating global warming. What is left of humanity takes to makeshift ships and rafts.

Several thousand years later, for some inexplicable reason, some asshole is born with gills and a young girl is given a back tat with the location of Mount Everest. Please see the historic documentary “Waterworld” for further information.

Granted. A cataclysm sunders the earth, reducing it to roughly the size of Charon. The moon is now a dwarf planet like Pluto, and we are its moon.

Granted. The tides are absolutely fucked and we’re dead but you got to see a moon moon in the sky for like a few days maybe

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