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  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    I notice men are having a hard time knowing they aren’t supposed to comment here - I wonder if the sidebar language is ambiguous. I know it says “Women only”, I wonder if something more explicit might help?

    e.g.

    Rules:

    • only women are allowed to post & comment (trans women are included)

    It’s possible this wouldn’t help at all, but it might be easier to scan and be more explicit in case someone does notice the sidebar?

    Guess I wanted to see what others thought.

    • Okokimup@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I often browse Lemmy by All, and can end up commenting on a post without realizing which community it’s in, let alone actually navigating to the community and checking their rules. I don’t think it’s a practical rule, and I abide by the community’s decision, but I wouldn’t personally have a problem with men posting here in general. Might be easier to have specific posts that are women only so it’s written right there in the post. I think the only alternative is to create a bot with an automatic reminder on each post.

      • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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        1 day ago

        I get that totally. On the whole people want it to be women only, and the last few days have shown there’s sadly a chunk of lemmy men that want to troll and cause issues. If we allow men it’ll be hard to stop the trolls and moderation problems will soar. The bots a great idea how do I create it?

      • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        On the one hand, I am like you and don’t have a problem with men posting in general.

        On the other hand, I love the way the rule actually creates a sense of a women’s community here, even as a lot of men continue to participate. I like feeling like I can assume the person I’m talking to is a woman too.

    • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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      2 days ago

      Yep I’ve noticed that. Funnily enough lots of the ones that don’t realise are hostile, which is a huge coincidence 🙄 . I’ve added it more visibly on the rules hopefully that helps.

      • Zero22xx@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        I think that unfortunately no amount of tweaking the sidebar or rules will help. People who come here and don’t realise the rules are probably jumping straight into individual threads from c/all and reacting without ever even visiting the front page of this community. You would hope that the fact the community is literally called “Women’s Stuff” would be enough to make these people reconsider jumping in to attack but here we are. I have a feeling that this is what every women-centric community has had to face on this platform so far.

        Personally, it’s something that makes me still feel hesitant about chipping in with anything here, even though you’ve said non-binary people are welcome. Because there’s already enough people invading here and warping the purpose of this community, and it’s still early days with not enough activity from women yet as it is.

        You’ve got something good going here though. And something that Lemmy needs. So I hope that you keep fighting off the riff raff and building this place up. Even just as a lurker, thank you for this space where I can read some good conversations with healthy insights (and pick up tips on dealing with sunscreen woes lol). It is highly appreciated.

        • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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          2 days ago

          Yep the name is a clue! They’re usually drawn to the feminist posts as well which is no surprise. We’ve been unlucky the last few days we’ve had a few anti feminist men, but usually we’ve been fine.

          I respect your decision to not post, but don’t ever forget non binary are 10000% welcome 🏳️‍🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈

          • Zero22xx@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            2 days ago

            Thank you. Your acceptance really does mean a lot 💜 Don’t let anyone make you think you’re any less than an awesome person because it would be lies.

            And yeah, at least it doesn’t seem to be a constant problem in every thread. There definitely has been a noticeable little wave of it in the last couple of days though. Maybe that’s a good sign in a way though. Means that the community is picking up steam and showing up in c/all more often. I just hope it doesn’t become too much.

      • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        2 days ago

        I personally have experience moderating a community designed for one specific group of people. My advice is use heavy handed moderation, some people may call you a tyrant or a mod abuser but thats whats needed to keep a community like this clean from those who would rather speak over the memebers.

        • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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          2 days ago

          That’s a good tip and yep, I’m ban heavy. They can downvote me and say what they want, but I’m NOT allowing misogynistic shit to harm members.