• thefartographer@lemm.ee
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    4 days ago

    You take some flour, and some room temp eggs
    Room temperature butter is the best
    And some warm milk, you stage it with the rest
    Vanilla, sugar, and baking soda
    If you forget your berries, you are fucked
    Iambic pentameter is shit. Salt.

    Get all of these items into a big bowl
    Mix it or whatever, I am not your boss
    Batter should be consistency of sludge

    Heat your oven to the maximum temp
    Pour your batter directly in oven
    Leave your house, tell neighbors you broke your toe
    Return to home, act surprised it is ash
    Get insurance check, use to buy muffins

    Prep time: 30-45 minutes
    Cook time: 2 months if insurance is fast

    Sure, I did a bad job. But in my defense, I put more effort into this than I should have and wasted everyone’s time. Especially mine.

      • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        Forsaken by my parents, I must bake
        A pie, a biscuit, or even a cake
        My parents, so proud, say that they love it
        I, too, am fulfilled cuz in them, I shit

        If nutty, to them, I serve up a pie
        Or a dish more savory, if corn supplied
        Since I was a child, I have done this
        I am better at it than at rhyming

        If you want a nice treat, leave out the poo
        Or keep it in, really, it’s up to you
        As you make what I bake, something might stink
        Solutions are found in my sponsored links

        Now I will let you get to the big bake
        More words are needed for profits at stake
        Please take care and enjoy my recipe
        Return next week when I make drinks from pee