Copying from the post since OP left me hanging:

1. Mumble confidently. People will assume you’re a visionary.

2. Bite the bat. Then pretend it was a branding decision.

3. Don’t chase the trend. Become the freakshow.

4. When the spotlight moves, light your own house on fire.

5. Marry someone who can handle the business (and your insanity).

This is satire… RIP Ozzy! Give them hell up there!