It’s not just alcohol, by the way, it’s just drugs in general. I’ve always known that if all drugs were legal, then I would do…well…all the drugs. I’ve tried most of them, but nothing makes me feel like alcohol.

These days my drinking is (mostly) under control. My goal is to stop completely. Yesterday, I went to my local beer and wine store and bought two 19 oz 8.5 ABV beers. I only drank one of them, which is definitely a good sign. Back in the day, as soon as I started drinking, I had to keep drinking until I was completely shitfaced. These days, though…it’s different. In the three years since my traumatic brain injury, I can count the number of times I’ve been blackout drunk on one hand. Going from 18 beers a day to drinking less than once a week is a big change, so I’ve definitely made progress.

Also, as I mentioned in another post, alcohol is the only thing that makes me sleep. I’ve tried melatonin, hydroxazine (I once took 20x the recomended dose), cannabis, and trazodone, Actually, what REALLY makes me sleep is alcohol + benxzos. My Yale-trained psychiatrist prescribed me benzos when he knew I was drinking a 12 pack every night. I mixed alcohol and benzos every night for years, so I’m not sure how I’m still alive, lmaooo