hey, i am happy about your affirmation of my idea … but would you mind not calling me ‘guy’? i am surprised myself about how deep that hit, knowing that there is a gender neutral nuance to it … but plz don’t.
I was surprised by my own hesitation when I wrote it and did ponder alternatives, wish I’d gone with one of them now.
All the vaguely gender neutral casual terms for strangers all feel like they have a gendered flavour to them for me… Dude, Bro, Fella… Do you have a preferred term for situations like this?
I’m just gonna edit it to use your name. That’s what I’d do IRL.
fwiw, the sensitivity folks have for this varies … I myself was very sensitive to otherwise neutral terms like “guys” or “dude” early in transition mostly because I couldn’t distinguish when someone was misgendering me or not … but once I started to pass and my trans status became secret, “guys” no longer bothered me because it was so unlikely to be misgendering.
So it’s good to be sensitive when people give you feedback, but just know it’s not like there is a single rule that will work for everyone.
I use “comrade” myself. Albeit in its Chinese formulation: 同志. (See, while it’s unbearably stuffy in modern China, 同志 is also the term used in the LGBTQ+ community in China to refer to each other which is a really spiffy subversion of authority that I adore to pieces.)
hey, i am happy about your affirmation of my idea … but would you mind not calling me ‘guy’? i am surprised myself about how deep that hit, knowing that there is a gender neutral nuance to it … but plz don’t.
Sorry about that, totally won’t do it again.
I was surprised by my own hesitation when I wrote it and did ponder alternatives, wish I’d gone with one of them now.
All the vaguely gender neutral casual terms for strangers all feel like they have a gendered flavour to them for me… Dude, Bro, Fella… Do you have a preferred term for situations like this?
I’m just gonna edit it to use your name. That’s what I’d do IRL.
Sorry again
fwiw, the sensitivity folks have for this varies … I myself was very sensitive to otherwise neutral terms like “guys” or “dude” early in transition mostly because I couldn’t distinguish when someone was misgendering me or not … but once I started to pass and my trans status became secret, “guys” no longer bothered me because it was so unlikely to be misgendering.
So it’s good to be sensitive when people give you feedback, but just know it’s not like there is a single rule that will work for everyone.
I use “comrade” myself. Albeit in its Chinese formulation: 同志. (See, while it’s unbearably stuffy in modern China, 同志 is also the term used in the LGBTQ+ community in China to refer to each other which is a really spiffy subversion of authority that I adore to pieces.)
“her” would be fine, or “person”, or “you”.
tyvm! 💖