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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Professional_Rush_24 on 2023-07-07 19:30:12+00:00.
UPDATE: AITA for not being the nicest about my not dad having cancer?
Well, he’s dead.
Sorry for the long wait for the update. To be honest, I completely forgot I made this post in the first place.
• Family fessed up to all the requests for help basically being plots to get me and him in the same room.
• He was in hospice care which I mixed up with being in the hospital in my original post.
•He started out by basically wanting a bunch of life updates from me, basic things like what college did I go to, what was my major, where was I working now, did I have a boyfriend, etc.
• He asked me if I still played soccer and I said no, not since he left me. He looked sad and said I was really good, and I agreed. I had humored him with casual talk for about ten minutes but I made it clear that I wanted answers and for the visit to be on my terms, so this was the segway into the “deep stuff”
• I told him I had questions for him and he agreed to answer them:
- Did you miss me? He looked kind of offended by that (which I thought was very audacious) and said of course he did, and I snapped back “Could have fucking fooled me” and there was this awkward moment of silence but I decided to keep going.
- Why did he leave me? He talked about how he was betrayed by my mom and looking at me was a reminder that he had been tricked into raising another man’s child and then I got upset. I told him to me, I WAS his daughter. Maybe not on a DNA test but here (I pointed at my heart). He just got quiet then said “You’re not mine, Sophie”
- Why wasn’t I, as a person, more important than the results of the paternity test? Was I an easy child to abandon? He looked kind of shocked by this one too, but I wanted to know. He goes no, of course not, it has nothing to do with you, but I snapped at him to tell me the truth, that I deserved that much and he said very bluntly “Two kids are less stressful than three, Sophie, so yeah, sometimes I was relieved you weren’t around, especially as a single parent, ok? But there’s nothing you could have done to change or overcome the fact that you’re not my child. You’re one I got tricked into raising. You weren’t mine, and you still aren’t. I’m sorry, Sophie.”
This is where the list was forgotten and I just said “But you treated (stepdaughter) like yours no problem” and he said it was different. I quietly asked if she was a replacement for me and he said he wasn’t going to dignify that with a response.
I asked if he wasn’t going to apologize why did he ask me here and he just said he wanted me to know I was in his will. I said “Okay. I don’t forgive you.” He looked kind of shocked and said “What?” and I just repeated. “I don’t forgive you.” He said ok and looked really sad, and added that he would pay my student loans via the will. I told him the conclusion I had come to, that forgiveness was the kind thing to do and I wish I could have given it to him, but there was too much hurt. He said he understood and I left.
NOTE: Very condensed for character limit.