tldw; The video looks at it as a system
The (dating) system is failing because men are withdrawing from participation because dating became a “low return, high risk” effort. Unlike women, men are less likely to actually talk about this kind of “social problem” (often because it’s still seen as an “individual problem”) and simply give up to go for something else (work, hobbies). Without enough participants, the system destabilizes. An aggravating factor is how men are scrutinized nonstop while women are shielded from almost every criticism
Also, the entire “engagement economy” that’s causing a significant divide among men and women (also creating ever more unrealistic expectations) keeps making fuckloads of money out of that.
No idea why the woman is almost whispering in the video tho
PS: Lots of angry men in the YT comments, but there was this interesting take that seems to hit right: “Loneliness will only matter when it affects women”
People who summarize videos in the comments shouldn’t have to pay taxes. You’re doing enough public service already
Interesting statistics but her analysis didn’t truly focus on structural issues. It relies heavily on her own narratives and interpretation. This really isn’t a problem though and it is to be expected.
She had a strange theme of blaming women because they are shielded from criticism. I think what she was trying to say is female groups can develop their own biases and feedback loops and this can reduce their ability to self-reflect and connect.
It did seem to tread into the territory that women are too independent and self-absorbed and this tends to destabilize traditional pair bonding. I am not sure I agree with this analysis because it feels very much like a traditional argument for female subservience.
She ignored a big piece of male identity which is providing. This economic angle with a lot males failing to support themselves is incredibly important. The amount of my daughter’s male friends she grew up with that have never had a job is staggering and she is 25.
So it is not just withdrawal from relationships, it is withdrawal from society.
If this video is going to be truly helpful it needs to also teach men. She tossed around a lot of subjective words around her concept of decrement but to me failed to really define or educate on how to do so successfully.
She had a lot of good advice for men, but yeah it was a vague list of positive values. The scope of the video was more on stating the issue. You’ll probably have to seek out more male centric prescriptive advice elsewhere. Hopefully you know what she’s not suggesting you look into.
The moral ideals she kind of threw out their for men and women seemed pretty narrow though. So I respect relegating the video to just an overview of the problem.
