So I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late thirties and before that I was a mess, job to job etc. then got lucky and worked for a company that afforded me the chance to study for my dream job without work pressure.
I am now a software developer and although I went from being the smartest person in the groups I roamed to the dumbest person at work I still have half a foot in my old life of drugs and poor decisions (although the usage has dropped by 95% and I’ve got a good routine and go to bed early).
I feel like a pretentious dick when at a party and someone asks what I do for work, I kinda feel ashamed saying I’m a software developer. Like a fraud I guess.
How to stop this?
For what it’s worth I’m in retail and I have been most of my life, I don’t have much ambition to climb the economic ladder because it basically demands we sell our souls, that said I don’t begrudge anyone with a better paying and less stressful job. Also we absolutely need working class solidarity between tech workers and “blue collar” or “low skill” jobs. These are all preconceptions that are instilled in us to create divisions among working people.
Basically, it sounds to me like class consciousness and maybe joining a communist organization or looking into forming a union if there are points to agitate on among your coworkers might help you find what you are looking for.
Imposter syndrome is definitely a real thing though.
You’re not pretentious for telling people what your job is, you’d only be pretentious if you held to some notion that it is any more important work than that of the person serving you food or selling your groceries.