• nigel@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    3 days ago

    I almost feel the idea of being “emasculated” is a made up mislabeling of a feeling born of something else that’s going on in the person’s life.

    I’m about as a heteronormative male as you’ll find, but I can’t say (in my adult life) I’ve ever felt negativity about the role I play in the house, family, etc, and I do a lot of the child raising, house work, etc.

    The negative feelings I get are around not being “useful”, or appreciated, or given the space to do the things I do to recharge.

    To me, the whole point of having kids is to raise them, teach them, hang out with them, help them, enjoy their company, etc. if you just want to go to work to provide for them, I’m not entirely sure having kids was such a good idea. Kids need your love and attention, and they are only here because you brought them here.

    Of course, I know some people have no choice, and that is sad. And sometimes you think you want one thing, and it doesn’t feel right when you get there. But I’d hope neither of those things should get tied up in gender roles.

    Maybe we just need some more openness about these things so we get some good role models, and reassurance we’re doing the right thing?

    Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and it’s very different person to person, family to family, and a far stretch from the fantasy that’s shown on TV. Made harder by the way we’ve structured our societies.

    • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 day ago

      You’re right, and actually all concepts of masculinity from the people who talk like this are based around becoming more masculine by having other men surrendering their masculinity to you by submission. It’s toxic as fuck, and proliferates by making the next male generation as broken and fucked up as you were brought up to be.

    • minimumchips@aussie.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      3 days ago

      Some people get too caught up in the idea of gender roles. Only insecure men feel emasculated. They need to properly connect with their feelings and understand why they feel insecure. The question should be are you a good person who takes responsibility and attunes to your kids needs. My dad felt emasculated by my mum, while being mostly absent while she played mum and dad role. Its obvious to me that her parental competence made him feel insecure.

  • Taleya@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    3 days ago

    Man who specifically studies “manosphere” claims some men have bullshit ideas.

    No. Shit.