An Alabama preacher and politician killed himself Friday two days after being outed for having a secret life he shared online as a “transgender curvy girl.”

  • papalonian@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    There’s probably gonna be a lot of trolls in here, but I have to say this is incredibly sad. I do hope his sermons preached love and acceptance rather than the hate that caused him to take his life.

    • Elliott@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The guy supported the party that routinely shits on minority groups…but when they turn in him it’s sad? He fed the rapid dog that turned and bit him.

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yes, I find it sad when someone is driven to suicide. It’s weird, I know.

        I feel that a man who dresses up as a woman in their free time did not decide for himself that gay/trans people are evil. This man probably had been lying to himself and others about who he was for decades, living through self-hate and trying to convince himself that he was “normal” and not “one of those fags” and the like.

        Now that he’s accepted himself and thought that he was safe to express who he was in private online communities (obviously stupid for someone in his position), his whole world is coming down on him. Now everyone knows he’s “one of them”.

        I don’t know enough about the guy to comment with certainty on what harm he may have caused as mayor, if he actively made life harder for gay/ trans people then that’s really shitty of him. All I’m saying is, things don’t happen in a vacuum, and this guy is just as much a victim of hate and bigotry as anyone else who’s killed themselves over it.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Yeah exactly. Some folks pass the point of sympathy. Folks like Joseph McCarthy, people who run conversion camps, Milo Yannanopolos, Blaire White, etc. But it’s hard to hit that point. I generally draw that line after having accepted yourself or begun living as yourself. And even then, I don’t want these people dead, I want them to change and work to undo the harm they’ve done.

          Targeted outing is an important tactic. It’s a way to force the people in power to own up to their hypocrisy and to stop people from hiding their true self behind hate. That’s not what this is, this is outing someone to cause them harm and to scare others. It’s an old harassment technique that’s been done as long as the internet has been around to try to hurt trans people, and it’s not ok.

          • CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Explained it the best. I hate what he did. I hate what a lot of people do. But I’m always sad to lose someone who had a chance to change.

            It’s what the internet is worst at, forgiving. This person said awful things and did awful things, but if he hadn’t taken his life and had instead worked through this, I honestly believe that he would be someone alive and worth forgiving.

            This doesn’t ever excuse the damage people do. I think that’s what people forget. You can forgive people without excusing their harm. But it’s always important that those who seek forgiveness both receive it AND receive it as they work to undo the harm if possible. Sometimes that won’t be possible.

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Exactly. The harm is done regardless. I want us to be the side of “I changed for the better”. We shouldn’t immediately trust people or forgive them of course, that “unconditional forgiveness and trust so long as you repent and are on our side” bullshit is part of how Christians keep winding up with a bunch of pedos. But I do believe in restorative justice. Sometimes people become good after doing many bad things.

              I want people to be better, so I think we need to stop punishing them for trying to be better. I’ll take former republicans, I’ll take reformed bigots, I’ll take assholes trying to be better, so long as all of them are actually striving to improve. And sometimes those people need to not be in a room so people can get a break from their not being quite there yet or because of the harm they did in the past, but that’s ok, the goal is to get them there.

        • Elliott@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          He supported a party of hate and bigotry but let’s all feel bad when that same hate and bigotry are directed at him.

      • ThatFembyWho@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 year ago

        It’s easy for me to judge living in anonymity in a progressive city with a supporting network around me (I’m trans).

        More likely she was raised conservative, built a career and family around it, in a small southern town where maintaining that facade is the only way to be accepted, then realized “oh shit I’m trans” and panicked.

        At that point, I can totally understand how difficult it would be to escape decades of baggage. Many trans ppl are reluctant to come out for precisely those reasons: career, family, lack of acceptance. The result is turmoil.

        I view her more as a lost trans sibling who was born into a cruel world and should be mourned, while not excusing her poor choices of political affiliation. I’m sure it was a daily struggle trying to reconcile what conservatives were saying about people like her, with her own identity.

        Not everyone is strong enough to fight this fight.

        • Elliott@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          She supported a party that hates trans people. Nobody could have seen this coming. 🙄

      • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Seriously. He wouldn’t have killed himself if he was surrounded by accepting people.

        It’s still tragic that someone felt they couldn’t be themself, but when you spend your time empowering intolerance and then find yourself a target of that intolerance? I have no tears to spare.

  • FoundTheVegan@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    She could’ve had the life she deserved, she could’ve still been the preacher, the politician, the parent, the anything. But for shame and fear, we have this. This is what all that “doing it for attention”, “pronouns suck” and “groomer pedo” talk amounts too. People so scared to live that we have a dead body instead.

    I hope she is at peace.

    • Son_of_dad@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      One of Bubba’s close friends put out a statement that said “are you happy now?? Bubba didn’t break the law or hurt anyone, are you happy now??” Which is true enough, especially if this guy wasn’t one of the usual anti trans politicians.

      • FoundTheVegan@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        That’s tragic, heartbreaking and a good question to ask.

        But unfortunately I think the answer is yes. Bigots are happy, any queer death is a reinforcement that their methods work. All are so quick to say “trans people are mentally ill” and the immediately do their best to make that person’s life a living hell, which is some twisted cruel logic. They don’t want us to exist, they call to exterminate us from public life and they think by making our lives difficult enough we can be shamed in to non-existentance.

        We can’t let them win. Because victory is literally death, but we will always have to remember those who fell, honor their memory and use their tale as a warning against every piece of shit conservative bathroom bill deadname enforcement and trans healthcare blockade. Because unfortunately, trans people as a whole are very directly under attack. Please vote accordingly.

    • rurutheguru@lemmings.world
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      1 year ago

      Unfortunately the “shame” surrounding these things stem from the concept of sin and living as a “sinner” in a “fallen world”. I’ve been shamed countless times because of things the church did not agree with. I don’t know if he ever preached any transphobic ideas in his time, but biblical ideologies are rife with gender roles and toxic ideas about women and masculinity. Even if he didn’t preach any of that toxic garbage, he must have been struggling a lot with his own identity, even though he said it’s only for fun and stress relief (paraphrasing). Small towns don’t act gracefully towards people experimenting with their sexualities like this. Can only imagine the rejection he must have experienced having all of this play off on the grand stage of his life in that little town, since literally everyone there knew him.

    • RocketBoots
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      1 year ago

      Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth. This is just tragic in every way.

  • athos77@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    So, I have a question. From the Daily Beast article:

    Lee County Sheriff Jay Jones said that deputies who tried to pull Copeland over for a welfare check witnessed Copeland step out of his car and shoot himself.

    Why are we taking the word of the cops for what happened? We know the right-wingers don’t distinguish between cross-dressers and pedophiles. We know that some of them find great satisfaction in abusing, torturing and even killing those that they consider “other”. And we know that cops cover for other cops.

    Yes, it’s entirely possible and plausible that this guy killed himself, but why are we just blindly accepting the cops’ version of events here?

    • m0darn@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Good point, what kind of wellness check involves a roadside stop?

      It seems quite possible that the police pulled him over to harass him.

      • Orbituary@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Oh, sure. Nothing ever happens like that with cops. They never turn their cameras off or lie.

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        1 year ago

        That doesn’t really count for anything unless people other than cops look at the footage. Not that I’m saying it should be made publicly available but somebody independent should see it.

        If it turns out there’s no body cam footage that’s a problem too but again unless someone outside the police force can see that there’s no body cam footage the lack of footage isn’t ever going to be made public knowledge.

        The police have body cam footage to make sure they’re doing their actual jobs and not something else, for the bloody useless if they turn them off or no one ever reviews the footage. They are not primarily there for the police’s benefit they’re there for ours.

  • MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This is a god damn shame. This poor person probably could have had a much happier life if only they knew how. Knew how to escape the life that everyone else expected of them.

    Instead it sounds like this poor soul spent their entire life supporting the very cause of their suffering. A lot of people would be happy to point out the irony in the double life he led. But, it’s hard to walk away from a life that’s all you’ve ever known.

    • BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You are absolutely right…except the article even states that Brittni described herself as a transgender woman. So it seems appropriate for us to take Brittni’s word on that.

  • stella@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    What’s really sad is this guy could’ve had a great support group among progressives.

    Instead, he let the fear of retribution from his current peers dictate his decisions.

  • okmko@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Copeland told 1819 News, which published the report on his 62nd birthday, that his online alter ego was a harmless “hobby” that did not go beyond his home.

    “The only moral crossdressing is my crossdressing”

  • Elliott@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    So the guy wanted power so badly he supported the GOP…but when they turned on him it was suddenly very sad. LOL. Sure.

    • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Some ppl think that just being LGBTQ means you’re really a good person inside. He was perfectly fine to shit on other people but once it came to facing his own scrutiny he took the cowards way out.