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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tall_Citron_9744 on 2023-07-10 21:04:25+00:00.
My son (M20) is studying at italian university, he doesn’t work and therefore my wife and I have always provided for him. Before he moved to Milan to study, I opened a checking account in his name, leaving him more than enough money to cover his expenses (I pay the university tuition and rent, therefore they’re not one of these expenses).
Evidently it was a big mistake, because after a few months my son came to ask me for more money because he had already drained his bank account, mainly for disco nights.
After a heated discussion with him, my wife and I decided to close the bank account and give him a prepaid card, in my name, reloaded up by us. It went better for a few months, until, a few weeks ago, my son asked me for an extra reload to be able to visit his girlfriend (a really lovely young woman) who lives in southern Italy and spend two weeks with her.
After he promised me that he would use the money responsibly, I granted his request… too bad I got a call yesterday from his gf’s father, saying he’s really sorry that my son br0ke his arm and can’t go to spend the holidays with them in August. Obviously, my son didn’t break a damn thing.
So I find out that the boy spent almost all the money from the last recharge to buy Play Station 5. When I ask him about it, his only justification is that a new spiderman game has to come out and he can’t play that with the old playstation.
If my son had been honest with me, I would have bought that play station for him. But I can’t accept being ridiculed in this way, which is why my wife and I have decided to also take away his prepaid card and give up from now on paying him anything other than his studies. My son started yelling at us, insulting us and threatening to leave the house which he actually did, only to come home for dinner.
He said it’s over and he doesn’t recognize me as a father anymore. He doesn’t want to talk to me anymore and he’s angry with his mother too. He says his girlfriend will leave him because of me.
I wonder first of all what I did wrong as a father and then if I really am the asshole in this story…