It’s really important to understand this cycle. Every time you decide to avoid a social situation, your anxiety lessens, which feels great in the short run. But in the long term, avoidance only leads to more anxiety because you don’t get chances to practice skills and to discover that the reality is often less scary than your imagination.
The best way to reduce social anxiety is to practice socializing intentionally. You can set measurable and realistic goals, like “I will spend 3 minutes making small talk with the barista” or “I will compliment my coworkers twice weekly” or “I will stay at the party for an hour and talk to 2 different people, asking at least 3 questions each time.”
Find a small way to start exposing yourself to social situations, even if it’s just getting out of the house and going for a walk in the park among other people. The more you avoid, the worse it gets - even though it will feel great initially when you avoid.
I definitely feel this many times. What is the line between trying to practice and things I should be ok avoiding?
I’m not am expert, but I would say if it’s a thing that could cause you great (psychological) harm, avoid it or put it off until another time when you’re better equipped. If it’s something that makes you nervous and you have the energy to deal with feeling nervous, go for it! Often, you’ll feel better for having been brave.
sounds very reasonable, thanks!
This is pretty much how my therapist explains it to me.
realising this circle has helped me so much personally. i have spend some time to evaluate, what situations are okay to avoid in the sense of self care. this often varies. like if i need some alone time to recharge, i am easier on myself. another thing that helped me a lot is to learn how to leave. and to allow myself to leave a social event whenever i feel overwhelmed. so sometimes i go to a meet up and leave after five minutes. i still got five minutes of exposure. and knowing that i can leave any time helps me go to things i would have avoided in the past aswell. thats all my personal experience tho. and there is no way to know what works for you without trying.
this makes a lot of sense. I talked recently with my therapist about a similar situation and they suggested a similar strategy. thanks for sharing!
i wish you the best on your jurney ^^ you are not alone, i know you can do it :)