Thank you for sharing your story. Maybe we’re indeed variants from different timelines. Let me tell you more about my timeline.

We’ve been together since the university, 20+ years ago. I fell in love at first sight, l never felt something so strong for someone. We shared and still share lots of things: we’re gamers, nerds, far leftist, cat lovers, we never planned to have kids…

The first years were a firework. But with time, she went through a lot of different stuff which slowly ruined her libido. Nowadays, she has treatments for two medical conditions, each one of them is known to have a negative impact on sexuality (she can’t even enjoy fingering herself alone anymore).

We tried a lot of things, but eventually she just felt bad because she was depriving me of a sexual life and she put a lot of pressure on herself for that. So she suggested we should open our relationship for me. And for a long time, I didn’t want to have sex with anyone else, because I believed true love means monogamy.

But she was still very insecure because of our lack of sexual life, so I searched for a solution which would not endanger our couple. And so I discovered that gay saunas exist.

It’s a good solution for me. I have sex at will, so she doesn’t put anymore pressure on herself for that. I can explore an other side of my sexuality, and make some fantasies come true. There’s no risk that I fall in love with someone else.

We established simple rules: I don’t date people outside of the sauna. I tell her when I go there (so she knows my phone is off). I limit the risks of STD. No sex with someone we know. No shame, I can tell her what I did when I come back home. We can freely speak about this deal, and stop it if one of us start to feel unconformable about it.

The second time I went to a sauna, our whatsapp was litteraly like :

• Finished! Getting dressed in the locker room!
• ok! :) Could you buy some bread on your way back home?

That’s so simple. I love her.